I’ve been visiting several friends who are facing their final days. I always wonder whether this will be our last visit and if so what I should say as my last farewell. But I falter. I can’t bring myself to accept that reality. That finality. So I say:
Goodbye. See you later.
I once did say my final parting words to a friend who was most certainly on the threshold of death.
You’ve been the best friend ever. Wherever you go, don’t go far. I hope our paths will cross again somewhere, somehow.
My friend nodded and smiled. I kissed him on the cheek. He went on living another four weeks.
Awkward.
A family once told me their grandfather had been on his death bed, his eyes closed, for nearly 10 days. The family gathered around his bed, held hands, sang a hymn, and then his eldest daughter leaned over and said: Pappa, we’re all here. We love you and want you to know it’s okay to let go.
Pappa opened his eyes and said:
I don’t want to go. I like it here.
Awkward.
He died the next day.
When my mother-in-law was told she had just three months to live, she was shaken. But she came to accept her situation. She told Paula and me that she wanted to be interred beside her parents in Des Moines. And she wanted her memorial service at the Shepherdstown Presbyterian Church. And, oh yeah, one more thing:
I want to hear “I’m Going to Heaven” just before I pass.
I immediately downloaded that bluegrass gospel song.
Paula and I took turns sitting beside her. Watching. Waiting. Days went by with little change. And then her breathing became halting. A long pause. Then a gasp. Another. And another. I set my iPhone on her pillow and pressed play.
Her eyes opened. And she said:
Too soon!
Awkward.
We got it right the next day.
I don’t know whether heaven is real. But I believe something like it is. Considering how little we know about virtually everything in this awesome universe, anything is possible. I’m happy to let the mystery be. And I’d also be happy if the last song I hear is:
Roll up, roll up, for the Magical Mystery Tour.
When that bus rolls up, baby, I’m steppin’ on board.
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