The devil paid me a visit this week. He’d let himself in. (The devil never knocks.)
Hello, old friend, I said. Where’ve you been?
Texas mainly, but that’s none of your business. And by the way, I’m not your friend. I’m your benefactor. I gave you a gift and you’ve misused it.
How so?
You name your blog The Devil’s Gift and then write saccharine paeans to trees, dogs, geese, butterflies, poets, angels, marriage, old men, grandchildren, sunsets—love, love, and more sweet love! You’re nothing but another Pat Boone.
(That hurt.)
He stared at my Halloween bowl of Snickers.
Here, would you like one? I asked.
No! I don’t like sweets and I don’t like your blog. It’s time you earned my gift by scaring the bejesus out of people. Halloween is a good time to start. I don’t want to read about cute, giggly children on your porch. I don’t want to hear about Cinderella, Spider Man, Mulan, Scooby-Doo, or Baby Yoda.
I went to my keyboard. The devil followed. I typed.
Halloween. Night had fallen. A knock fell upon my door. I opened it.
In the glow of the porch light stood a witch, a goblin, a vampire, and Kenny G.
Come on, the devil grumbled. Those things don’t scare people anymore. You can do better than that.
I began again.
Halloween. Night had fallen. A knock fell upon my door. I opened it.
In the glow of the porch light stood the Statue of Liberty decapitated, Lady Justice handcuffed, a Black man with a rope around his neck, a barefooted woman with three children cringing behind her ragged skirt, a singed forest-fire fighter, an army vet with needle marks on his arms, an oil tycoon with million-dollar bills stuffed in his pocket, and a Proud Boy.
Nice. But you can do better.
Halloween. Night had fallen. A knock fell upon my door. I opened it.
In the glow of the porch light stood the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse along with Mitch McConnell, Jim Jordan, Ted Cruz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and a blubbery man, naked except for a red tie and a MAGA hat.
The devil fled in terror.
Halloween. Night had fallen. A knock fell upon my door. I opened it.
In the glow of the porch light stood the Dalai Lama.
Namaste. Would you like a Snickers?
I’d love one.
_______________________
See Paula’s “Fall Will Blow Your Mind” on the home page. Posted October 9, 2022
