I turned 75 this past Tuesday. But I almost didn’t.
Two days earlier Paula and I were standing with two friends outside a Maryland restaurant waiting for another party of four to be seated. Suddenly a man burst out of the door, sternly flipping the finger, wildly boxing the air, and bellowing:
F**KING LIBERALS!
WOW. Pop-up theater. Cool.
But it wasn’t. That was no act. That was no actor.
He stomped away, raising clenched fists like Rocky. He felt victorious.
Not a single liberal cursed him back. Not a single liberal made chase. We were in line. We had reservations.
Liberals are tolerant, generous, and gracious. Liberals believe in peace, love, and understanding. Liberals don’t yell obscenities at the other side. Liberals welcome dialogue. Liberals believe people are reasonable, even drunks.
I’m a liberal.
So I called out after the raging bull: Hey there! How can you tell who’s a liberal?
I wanted to learn from him. I wanted to walk in his flip-flops. I wanted to feel his pain.
He stopped, turned, and screamed:
F**K YOU!
And he meant it. He charged at me like a loose cannon, arms flailing while spewing his two favorite syllables.
I wasn’t afraid.
I do yoga.
I stood my ground trying to think of the yoga pose that protects against an attack, only to realize that yoga isn’t karate.
The bull roared.
I struck the mountain pose, inner core tight, taut, deeply rooted in love for all people and all creatures great and small. Breathe in. Breathe out. Namaste.
The bull lunged.
Joe Pesci jumped between us.
Touch me and you’ll be in big trouble, mister. I will call the law.
Okay. It wasn’t Joe Pesci. It was the bartender. He was short but wiry. You know, Joe Pesci.
The bull pawed the ground, grimaced, and then waddled away muttering.
(What a great country! Even a drunk idiot knows he’s not above the law.)
The bartender apologized and led us inside. Well, that was different, we all agreed. We ate and drank liberally and left a liberal tip.
The next morning I searched the internet for Maryland’s gun laws. Oh, boy! That drunk idiot could have been packing. Legally!
What was I thinking?
Will reason stop a guy with a gun?
Are liberals too nice?
Are we stupid?
Are we f**ked?
Please let me know.
GLAD YOU SURVIVED IN A PEACEFUL MANNER AND NO PHYSICAL DAMMAGE OCCURRED.
I AGREE MOST LIBERALS ARE NICE PEOPLE EVEN TO THE POINT OF NOT ADMITTING IT. THEIR LEADERSHIP IN CONGRESS AND ELSEWHERE IS TROUBLING TO ME.
There isn’t any other way to have peace except to be peace. None.
He was just another archietype passing, but peace might be not engaging him personally. Carol won’t let me stop the car and go back ask the raving lunatic in the pickup truck why he’s tailgating me, and lo, I’m still alive!
I firmly believe that the current national climate created by the Trumpers has emboldened these jerks, made their behavior acceptable to the general public. We sold our retirement home in western North Carolina and moved to a blue area because there was one of the guys you described on every corner.
If the guy was drunk, the bartender bears responsibility as does the establishment. And then he got in his car and drove away? It sounds like he could’ve killed you, I hope he didn’t kill anyone on his way to his next stop or at home.
I like to try to make people stop at a stop sign. If I can tell that I will survive, I step out into the street so that they have to stop for my dog(s) and me like they are supposed to. Life on the edge! So far, I’ve made it. I just assume that everyone is armed these days.
What a world.
Also, sign at a recent demonstration:
“Jesus was a socialist.”
Wonder what the raging bull would think of that?
Actually the bartender provoked the sot when he refused to serve him.
I think much discussion and dialogue has been stymied by an overuse of labels. progressive conservative radical socialist republican democrat leftist right wing – labels are easy but harmful. Sadly , it is hard to get beyond a label and delve into what someone really stands for, thinks, supports.
That guy was just mad that he was in one of the most liberal states in the country and he was clearly outnumbered. Unless it was Boonsboro. Sounds like Boonsboro. Way to stand your ground and not get flustered by the lunatics.
Good guess, Ben. It was Boonsboro! But I also know people in Boonsboro who are nothing like that guy!
Ecclesiastes says that “there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak”. Silence is not always yellow; sometimes it is golden, prudent and wise. Trying to “learn” from a drunken and angry man is not appropriate, especially given the current political landscape of division and violence.
Additionally, I find the use of “liberal” and “conservative” labels to be counterproductive. Labels remind me of putting people into boxes, boxes that resemble coffins. Human beings are more complex and nuanced. One may be open to new ideas and, at the same time, averse to change in other ways. Kierkegaard’s words may be useful: “When you label me, you negate me.”
Sounds like you were courageous but not stupid. Bravo for standing up for your values and for the bartender who intervened and knew what would stop that raging bull. I don’t think labels are necessarily bad. Can you think of any area of learning or living that isn’t made more accessible by labels? From what I’ve read, we are hardwired to look for patterns, similarities, and discrepancies, and then group things accordingly. But it’s easy for me to forget that any one person is more than any one label. I am polylabelous! Maybe even polylibelous at times. But definitely a liberal of many stripes. Does that make me polyliberalous?
About 25 yrs ago when we lived in San Francisco, Pete and I were taking the bus home from somewhere in the city at night when a drunk started calling racist taunts to a few young Chinese men on the bus -“you don’t belong here; go back home; etc.; etc.” The young men were quietly bearing it but me, well, I took it as long as I could and then stood up and told the man to shut up and sit down (Pete also reminded me later that I threatened if he didn’t shut up and sit down, my husband would beat him up – brave person that I am). The whole bus clapped and the bus driver stopped and made the man get off the bus. I am afraid to say that I have pondered frequently whether I would do the same thing today. Not long after relating this story in the last few years, there were a couple liberals who also tried to stop a racist rant and were shot in Portland, on public transportation, I believe. I even was afraid to put up Black Lives Matter sign on my property since I live alone in the country in a conservative area and arson has been a problem with barns in this county. But then I think about the fear minorities live in daily and can’t I take a little of that on for the sake of justice, equality, and raising a voice. A small sacrifice to help make things right and safe for everyone.
We’re all glad that the bartender intervened and that you survived to enjoy—at least the start of—your 76th year. We have to hope that your angry, intoxicated combatant won’t do what Garry Trudeau depicts: https://www.washingtonpost.com/doonesbury/
I had the wee beginning of an altercation that never rose to physical as a 19-year-old in profound loneliness and isolation exploring fellowship with the young adults group of a large downtown Boston church. The church has been around forever, a historic landmark since 1810; the beliefs of most of its congregants seem to fit that era. I was gutsy and, as I was being dropped off by the driver of the five or six of us commuting to an “outreach” event one night, challenged the driver to answer a question about what I described as “fundamentalist evangelicalism.” The young man went in an instant from a calm, smiling, polite young divinity student and leader of the 200+ youth group to a loud, gesticulating, red-faced extremist fighting as it were for his very life. I demurred, as much out of gentile liberal conditioning as anything, and we had an amicable parting. A close friend in the car confided afterwards that she was scared for me. I doubt he would have slugged me, I being a woman and all. But these days, all bets are off.
Thanks for your story, and the others shared here. Labels can confine, limit, and close dialogue; yet they are like a sign that says “I am like you – come closer”, or “if you’re not like me – stay away”. I enjoy bumper stickers and signs for that reason, and also appreciate the courage displayed in telling the world “ this is who I am”.
I wear my liberalism in my clothes, my jewelry, my easy compliments to the service industry folks who help me. I’ve been in many a March with my sign up, and felt the group qi grow… strength in numbers. And as the gun laws get more easy access – anyone, anywhere, I feel the pulling back inside for protection. Self preservation? Fear? Or just practical? Thanks for provoking us once again! ☮️
I take great exception to the negative connotation that the word Liberal evokes in the current political climate. The GOP has used the media to rebrand what it is to be a Liberal; are those of us who take a humanistic, tolerant, and help-others-approach to life supposed to feel shame at our belief system? Of course not, but to be a Liberal seems to automatically label you as a staunch Biden supporter, “woke,” a killer of unborn babies, someone who wants to trample the 2nd Amendment and take away everyone’s guns, etc… As so many other replies have already pointed out, trying to label people is problematic. This is all rooted once again in 45 having given hatred, racism, and ignorance a voice. And they’ve tried to appropriate the Flag as a symbol of their “patriotism.” So rather than label ourselves or allow others to do so, let’s just continue to be good people: to be kind, loving, accepting, and to help others. I like that approach…even if it sounds a bit Liberal.
I don’t think I would call provocatively questioning someone who is drunk “standing your ground”. In my experience, there is no reasoning with someone under the influence. To expect otherwise is foolish — and there’s no scoring points when someone is both drunk and angry, I think the only sensible response is withdrawal. Nothing good comes from such an encounter —AND you were fortunate someone else intervened to save your liberal (?) butt! Your insightful words can now continue to provoke the thinking of those perhaps more open to them.
Violence is woven so tightly in American history, myth, tradition and habit that the meanest amongst us now think violence is their birthright. Beyond magnificent natural resources, our national wealth’s foundation is slavery and genocide. Our labor history the bloodiest in the developed world.
Our culture forced by bizarre politics worships guns and the power to immediately deny life to any other.
Every human being is capable of killing. Right now in America that awful capacity has reached full expression. As their civil war heats up, each of us will have to decide how we respond to all the elements of violence and abuse.
You’re a courageous man. But your question to the mad man was born of your smart assedness.
Just be careful out there. The woods are filled with unseen terrors.
A addendum to my previous comment.
These guys who intimidate people, the same one who presses up against your bumper when you are driving the speed limit. And then roars past you and throws you the finger for doing nothing but driving the speed limit.
The guy who has his muscle car modified to make it loud and drives through a peaceful town, “Look at me”
I believe these men, first, do not have a girlfriend, and second, came from an unhappy childhood (father who beat them).
They take out their frustrations on anyone
The recent mass shooters fit this profile
They are angry and want to take it out on others.
Well, well, well! Challenging or teasing an angry drunk is a tempting thing to do, especially when it’s daylight and you are in a queue of lots of other people outside a restaurant in the middle of town. But, thanks to good old Mr. Hindsight, maybe not. This is no longer the America of Norman Rockwool; this is a national stewpot of many hatreds, many wronged people seeking revenge, many misunderstandings, all seasoned liberally with lies and misinformation starting way back and then growing forward to unstoppable momentum during the George W. Bush reign and the highjacking of the news media by Rupert Murdock and his Fox News empire and News of the World trash magazine empire.
Rupert Murdock has a lot to answer for. Many people in our government and governments throughout the world have a lot to answer for; we all have a lot to answer for when we swallow and repeat falsehoods, half truths, political smear campaign information and when we are too busy to do our own research and our own thinking through issues.
I am glad you, Paula and the other diners lined up were not harmed. Maybe municipalities should invest in punching bags to be mounted and placed at strategic points throughout the town.
It looks as though you may need significant help this year if you plan to “take on” wild acting foul language people o the street!
Liberals are too nice, but so was Jesus! Conservatives are either bullies, like your friend here, or sneaky SOBs, who appear sweet and nice, but will stab you in the back at any time!
Sadly,like Jesus, we liberals may end up strung up on crosses by the conservative courts. Or, starving and naked if Mitch gets control of the senate!
However, nice people can vote! We simply must make sure anyone who is in any way liberal votes, and does so as often as possible!
First off – welcome to your new year – may you reach back and take ONLY the best into it.
Secondly, I have NO CLUE … I know my heart and … well … other than messing my jeans I know I would not have stood up to him. Your words (and those of your friends above) give me strength to be who I choose to be …
Never, ever, ever yell something to a drunk or even to a mean person on the street. I suggest you answer back by staying peaceful and loving and simply turn away not saying a word! There are lots of other opportunities to speak out to mean people, like by voting.
I am quick to wanting to speak out to people like that too but I am working hard on simply staying quiet and loving. It’s helped me stay at a higher level. Please do that instead of starting a conversation with a mean man on the street! That is too dangerous and frankly too unproductive.
Personally I think it is STUPID for anyone, liberal, conservative or neither, to try to engage with a drunk, particularly a strange, angry drunk who has just been kicked out of a bar!
As to your first question, liberals are not generally stupid. Except in politics, but that is a separate matter. As to your second question, the answer is not yet evident.