I was not born a racist. I was not born a misogynist. I was not born a homophobe. I was born innocent.

But I became a racist, a misogynist, and a homophobe.

And a nice guy.

I never denied blacks, women, or gays a mortgage. I never denied blacks, women, or gays a promotion. I never denied blacks, women, or gays a seat on the bus.

I couldn’t have even if I’d wanted to. I don’t have that kind of power.

But I do have another kind of power.

I attended an integrated high school. I was president of the high school Interact Club, an organization founded by Rotary in 1962. At that time, Rotary was an all-male domain.

My female classmates were not included, never invited. That’s just the way it was. And it was wrong.

I never complained, never protested.

Our club had 60 members. The three black members were never nominated for office, never considered. That’s just the way it was. And it was wrong.

I never complained, never protested.

My classmates told fag jokes, nigger jokes, and dumb blonde jokes. I laughed.

I never would have kicked, punched, or slapped a black, gay, or female classmate. I was a nice guy. Still, I didn’t complain or protest while blacks, girls, and gays were belittled.

I didn’t hate any of them. I just didn’t love them enough.

I didn’t love them enough to walk in their shoes, to feel and see the world as they did. I didn’t love them enough to make the world as safe and as good for them as it was for me.

I once was blind. But now I see.

A friend recently asked me: How can “they” call me a racist when I hold no hatred against any of “them”?

I told him what I tell myself: Racism isn’t about hating. It’s about not loving enough, not loving enough to make the world as safe and as good for others as it is for me. It’s not about hatred. It’s about indifference. And from that soil, malignant behaviors, policies, and structures arise.

We are born innocent. And then the learning begins. We learn how to see the world. And we learn how to close our eyes.

And if that’s the case, we can learn how to open our eyes and see what we’ve been missing.

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Check out Paula’s photographic montage on the home page.