Happy Third Day of Christmas. Look for three French hens sent from your true love. I took last week off. (Whatever that means these days!) So here’s a post from the archives. October 13, 2019. Not exactly a Christmas theme but it does mention the birth of Jesus. As this momentous year ends, I’d like to thank all of you for tuning in week after week. You are a blessing to me. Happy New Year. Be good to yourself. Always.
JESUS SHAVES! That’s funny. It wouldn’t be funny if it were Buddha, Moses, Muhammad, or Bob shaving. JESUS SAVES. JESUS SHAVES. Funny!
HONK IF YOU LOVE CHEESES is funny, too, because there are a million bumper stickers taunting motorists to HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS. I never honk. I’m pretty sure the Jesus I love isn’t the one they love.
My Jesus is a fun guy. He rocks the boat.
He once told a fat-assed rich guy that it was easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a fat-assed rich guy to get into heaven. You gotta slim down, buddy, or you’ll miss out on the good life. Lots of knee slapping on that one, I bet.
Honk if you love Jesus.
I’m teaching a course at Shepherd University entitled “Jesus Before Christianity.” It’s a full class. A lot of us would like to know what Jesus was before he became a white evangelical Republican.
He was Jewish, that’s what. He was born Jewish. He died Jewish.
His mother Mary (aka Miriam) was Jewish. And, no, she wasn’t a “Catholic Jew” as one incredulous (Catholic) student insisted.
So, I’ve been downloading songs about Jesus. Jesus Was a Capricorn. The Rebel Jesus. Jesus Is Just Alright with Me. Jesus on the Mainline. We Need a Whole Lot More of Jesus (And a Lot Less Rock and Roll). And my favorite: They Ain’t Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore, by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. (Yes, there is such a group.)
While googling I stumbled on “Jesus Shaves” by Paranoid Larry. (Yes, there is such a person). Jesus loses his job in corporate America, becomes a welder, shaves twice a week, goes ice fishin’ after church on Sunday, walks on water, bumbles into a date, marries Magdalena (from payroll), and has a daughter.
I love that Jesus, too, and the blessing he offers.
Blessed are the ones who make peace, blessed are the ones who scrape by.
Blessed are the ones living holy lives, and here’s to the rest of us who try
I never heard it that way from the Bible Jesus. I heard it from the one who shaves.
Here’s to the rest of us who try.
“Jesus Shaves” as performed by the Roches
A white evangelical republican?! Ah me. I’ll have to research a Catholic Jew. And the refrain is a good blessing for today. All we can do is try. Thanks.
Your writings are a blessing to us. Thank you for your weekly gift that keeps on giving us insights, perspective and more than a few belly laughs. Welcoming in the New Year…
Love Ardyth & Al?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you! Thanks for the continued blessing of your blog. I look forward to it every week. It has become part of my Sunday spiritual practice! Peace.
I learned Christmas night that the best selling Christmas songs, with very few exceptions, were written by Jewish songwriters. Jesus! Now that’s what his message was all about–Transcendent Love, no matter who writes, sings, or teaches it! Traditional Christianity, and more particularly, Evangelical Christianity, are interpretations my ♡ rejects. But Jesus, and his message of BIG Love–for them there is “no try”–only Feel and Do. Have a Love-filled and Love-motivated New Year, everyone!
Have a beautiful Holiday, you and yours. We hold you in our hearts.
Onetime, driving back-ish roads and as ever reading the billboards with great interest, as wannabe poets should do, two billboards on a curve read themselves together:
Jesus Saves S&H Green Stamps.
A friend of mine who traveled throughout the Middle East is convinced that the very first reaction to Christ’s birth among all the dark-skinned people of that region was, “Wow! A white baby!” And he has been white ever since. He converted to Republican along with Abraham Lincoln.