That’s funny. It wouldn’t be funny if it were Buddha, Moses, Muhammad, or Bob shaving. JESUS SAVES. JESUS SHAVES. Funny!
HONK IF YOU LOVE CHEESES is funny, too, because there are a million bumper stickers taunting motorists to HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS. I never honk. I’m pretty sure the Jesus I love isn’t the one they love.
My Jesus is a fun guy. He rocks the boat.
He once told a fat-assed rich guy that it was easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a fat-assed rich guy to get into heaven. You gotta slim down, buddy, or you’ll miss out on the good life. Lots of knee slapping on that one, I bet.
Honk if you love Jesus.
I’m teaching a course at Shepherd University entitled “Jesus Before Christianity.” It’s a full class. A lot of us would like to know what Jesus was before he became a white evangelical Republican.
He was Jewish, that’s what. He was born Jewish. He died Jewish.
His mother Mary (aka Miriam) was Jewish. And, no, she wasn’t a “Catholic Jew” as one incredulous (Catholic) student insisted.
So, I’ve been downloading songs about Jesus. Jesus Was a Capricorn. The Rebel Jesus. Jesus Is Just Alright with Me. Jesus on the Mainline. We Need a Whole Lot More of Jesus (And a Lot Less Rock and Roll). And my favorite: They Ain’t Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore, by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. (Yes, there is such a group.)
While googling I stumbled on “Jesus Shaves” by Paranoid Larry. (Yes, there is such a person). Jesus loses his job in corporate America, becomes a welder, shaves twice a week, goes ice fishin’ after church on Sunday, walks on water, bumbles into a date, marries Magdalena (from payroll), and has a daughter.
I love that Jesus, too, and the blessing he offers.
Blessed are the ones who make peace, blessed are the ones who scrape by.
Blessed are the ones living holy lives, and here’s to the rest of us who try
I never heard it that way from the Bible Jesus. I heard it from the one who shaves.
Here’s to the rest of us who try.
“Jesus Shaves” as performed by the Roches
My uncle died recently. He married my aunt when I was six years-old. He was part of our family for 63 years. When I saw him for the last time, he talked about his life, embraced what was left of it, and said, “This is all pretty good.” I can honestly say, he died with a “satisfied mind”. (Yet another great song.)
When I was about 12 years-old, I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. With his last example, things haven’t changed. I still want to be just like him. He preferred the Jesus who shaves too.
Every boy needs an uncle to look up to. You were blessed.
I got an ad on my Washington Post page yesterday that said “Jesus Loves You! Click here for more information.” I thought that was about all the information required.
I agree. What more is there to know?!
How about my favorite, “Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.”
Oh, yeah. That one, too.
Love that one, too.
Jesus, the missing years – by John Prine, it’s a good one!
New one on me. Thanks. I’ve often wondered about those “missing years.” Now I know (but not sure I believe!)