I went for my annual physical with my primary physician. The first stop was with the MA (Medical Assistant), a 14-year-old boy with a clipboard and a name tag. “Will.” Turns out he was 24 and serious.

Follow me.

I did.

Step on the scale.

I did.

And just for laughs, I told him I usually weigh myself naked.

Keep your clothes on. I’ll subtract for clothing.

Numbers flashed, then stopped.

(WOW. Shorts, T-shirt, and flip-flops must weigh ten pounds.)

Step off and sit over there.

I did.

I’m now going to test your memory.

(What?! A memory test?!! No, please don’t. Test my blood, reflexes, urine, IQ. Anything but memory!)

(More and more these days I go into the pantry and stare at the shelves trying to remember what I came in there for only to realize I meant to go into the laundry room to fetch a broom. Or, was it a sponge?)

I’m going to give you an address and then ask you a series of questions. The last question will be: What is the address I led with.

GULP.

(What if I fail? Fail an eye exam you get glasses. Fail this, what then? A neurologist? A spinal tap? A nursing home?)

The address is 42 West.

42 West. Got it.

What is today’s date?

June 18, 2025 (42 West)

What’s your birth date?

July 5, 1947 (42 West)

Where are you right now?

WVU Medical Center. (42 West)

Where do you live?

Shepherdstown, West Virginia. (42 West)

When did World War II end?

1945 (42 West)

Who is president?

I’d rather not say. (42 West)

But you do know who it is, right?

Yes. I. Do. (Help me, Lord. Please help me here. 42 West. 42 West. 42 West.)

Count to zero starting with 20.

42, 41. Sorry. 20, 19, 18…zero. (42 West)

What was the address I gave you?

42 West.

That’s right. Perfect. You’ve passed.

WHEW.

I heard my friend of 40 years had lost a step or two, cognitively. I took him to lunch the other day. We chatted and laughed like two old friends. But something was off. He didn’t know me. He was enjoying lunch with a “friendly stranger.”

I drove him home.

He said, thank you. And got out.

I could have been an Uber driver.

Damn! I pounded the steering wheel and drove away.