I’m on a crusade. Nothing but death will stop me. I don’t expect to live long enough to claim victory. But I’ll die trying.
This is a holy crusade. Evil stalks my land.
For three decades an insidious plant rooted itself stealthily and prolifically throughout my wooded five acres.
At first it looked comely and harmless.
(Looks can be deceiving.)
The plant is an intruder. A trespasser. A nuisance.
This despicable plant is MULTIFLORA ROSE.
And it must be eradicated. And it shall be, if it’s the last thing I do.
(Considering my age there’s a good chance this actually will be the last thing I do.)
Don’t let the word “rose” fool you. This plant is vicious, pernicious, sinister. Nothing rosy about it. It would strangle you to death if it could or ensnare you in its spiky tentacles and bleed you to death.
I swear it can sneak up on you.
My grandsons went scurrying into the woods once, only to be ensnared. They screamed bloody murder. It’s like flypaper with barbs. Heaven help you if you fall face forward into a thicket of the stuff. I did. Once. Getting out felt like getting out of quicksand.
I hate multiflora rose.
Multiflora rose is native to eastern Asia. It was introduced to the United States in the 1860s, initially as rootstock for ornamental roses. Later, it was widely promoted for soil erosion control, as well as “living fences” for livestock, and to provide wildlife habitat.
Nothing wrong with that. But then it got out of hand and went crazy.
You can’t burn it. That would leave roots to resprout. You can’t spray it. That would contaminate other plants and poison the wildlife.
It has no natural predators, other than goats.
And now, me!
I envelope myself with super thick leather gloves, two long-sleeved shirts, denims, and boots. I arm myself with pruners, pick, and axe.
The mission looks overwhelming (as did eradicating smallpox at one time.)
Multiflora rose must be uprooted by hand—inch by square inch, foot by square foot, yard by square yard.
Now and then I dig up a large gnarly rootball, and as I tug it out of the ground, ninety percent of the foliage in a nearby tree comes cascading down.
Sweet!
(I’d jump with sadistic delight if my back and knees weren’t killing me.)
That’s my story.
It could be a parable.
Yep… have patch of that devil’s weed here, too. Same planning, same tactics. Like all things that fool you with a rose, then ensnare you with their thorns – they must be rooted out. Especially when it hurts the children & the elders. A worthy effort there, brother! Here we go…pace yourself…🌺💀😅
My husband has suggested planting it out front to dissuade trespassers from walking across the front of our yard on the water. We haven’t done this. I run into thorny bushes on the land to our south while hiking – no fun indeed. Eradication of this prevailing nuisance takes persistence as many nuisances do ! Did you march or rally yesterday? My cousin and I drove to the nearest location armed not with pruning shears but with signs and voices ( and coats and gloves – it was windy and chilly in upstate NY). Thanks for the reflection on Spring tasks.
Good one Randy. Yesterday was a good day. People are beginning to gather to fight all of the multiflora roses that are trying to take over the entire country. I believe we the people, will be able to root them out.
Go goat! Rent, rent to own, or import from Nepal before tariffs get out of hand. Fainting goats would be a plus.
If ever a post cried out for photos, it’s this one. My sympathies. Good luck.
I’m taking this as a parable suitable to the times in which we find ourselves living. I know multiflora rose well and the current menace is worse.
Much worse!
And then there is the Japanese Honeysuckle, and Japanese silt grass, and the Russian Olive, and the Bradford Pear, and Kudzu (known to swallow abandoned houses whole), Also, don’t forget the imported diseases of Dutch Elm Disease and Chestnut Blight or the wonderful insects, Stink Bugs and Lantern Flies, and the citrus industry in Florida is disappearing thanks to Huanglongbing Disease (citrus greening) and then there is Pierce’s disease of wine grapes in California (caused by a bacterium Xylella fastiidiosa thought to have come from Southern Central America). You thought good wine was expensive now, just wait until after the tariffs take hold and the disease starts winning. Remind me why Noah took these plagues on board.
Also spotted lantern fly and imported bittersweet.
Hope you get to the root of the problem. You can revel in a cubic yard at a time.
Sounds worse than kudzu or bamboo.
The boa here in Florida tops all of those. I’ll trade you.
I’m so damn literal. I thought this post was about battling a terrible invasive plant. But as other more astute readers have commented, it’s a great piece on our need to uproot the Cult of the Orange Ball of Confusion as the Temps sang. Thanks Xrev as musk might name you.
Orange Ball of Confusion😆very good
Its okay Stewart Acuff, working at getting rid of that snaggy rose is still a literal problem. It is exactly as Randy described. It was refreshing to be in the woods, literally tackling a stickery plant, and know there are the trees and fungi below ground to consider helping out too.
Ha! May the evil be vanquished! 🙂
Great parable…I need to look up this invasive enemy to our natural habitat and well being. Does it serve any useful purpose…I’m guessing not. At Westminster PC we explored another parable–the Prodigal Son…today’s lectionary…sure you’ve preached on this one. I couldn’t help but think of all the people who squandered their vote last November… and whether I could welcome them in glory with a beautiful robe and ring and a feast with the fatted calf when they realize their foolishness… don’t think I’m there just yet.
You certainly have vividly described a wretched plant! And your description makes an effective parable. I went to see Part II of Season 5 of The Chosen today. Jesus cursed a fig tree on his way to Bethany (Matthew 21). The tree had healthy green leaves but no fruit, not even a hint of any bud for fruit. The leaves were just a show covering up the lack of fruit. When Jesus walked back to Jerusalem with his disciples, they noted the fig tree had withered. Of course, that was just one tree, not roving thick patches of a flowering devil weed. Sadly, we have many disheartening weeds in our country: plants, thoughts, actions, and people. While I would love to see them wither, I don’t think cursing them will help them to wither, though honestly, I haven’t tried that yet so…
Someone might come along and care for that tree and it wld bear fruit. Don’t want folks encouraging that invasive “multi flora rose. “
Good point, Jessica. 😀
Ah yes! Multiflora Rose! The tenacious nemesis of all us. I’ve battled with it for years. (I’ll keep my final solution to myself.) Claire and I once had a neighbor who thought it was pretty so she let it grow. That only spread the pestilence to us. Subsequent neighbors fortunately haven’t been so relaxed about this noxious weed and so have dispatched it whenever discovered. It’s hard to root out at first, but I’m pleased to tell you that you will win. Be patient and don’t worry about your age. You have both feet solidly planted on the ground. You’ll be fine.