Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. —Mark Twain
* * *
Yesterday, at the conclusion of a memorial service at the Shepherdstown Presbyterian Church, I lifted the urn holding the ashes of my dear friend and placed it in the hands of his widow. She carried it up the aisle and set it on a table in the foyer so those who passed by could pay their respects.
It was a solemn procession until it passed through the front doors, down the steps, and onto the sidewalk. There, a Dixieland band struck up a boisterous tune while leading a sashaying multitude down King Street to the War Memorial Building. We ate and drank and toasted the life of Martin Burke.
There’s a time to be sad. And a time to be happy.
In December 2024, Martin was given a terminal prognosis of six to 12 months. He chose 12 and then added two more months for good measure. Wherever he was going, he was traveling in the slow lane.
It’s not easy to eat, drink, and be merry in the face of impending death. But we did. A cadre of eight friends gathered every month for a soiree until it became impossible.
At what would be our final gathering, Martin got our attention, looked at each of us one by one and said:
Keep doing this!
Twelve months before his death, Martin asked me to officiate his memorial service.
I was caught off-guard.
(No. Never. I won’t do that. I will not.)
No, sorry, I can’t, I said.
I think you can.
No, I can’t.
You can.
No, I can’t.
(Damn it!)
Okay, I will.
But under protest.
I don’t want you to die.
Over the next several months, Martin related his many travel adventures to me, including six weeks in the Soviet Union and a solo motorcycle trip from Michigan to Alaska.
Martin was an intrepid traveler.
I asked him if there was a message he wanted me to convey at his memorial service.
Yes. Tell them to see the world. And tell them to be happy.
* * *
[Barbara selected this poem for the front of the memorial program.]
Speaking of Loving You
I’ll tell a story a day
about you and who you were
I’ll wake up every morning
whispering your name
I’ll laugh everyday remembering
the joy of you
I’ll speak of your life
and I’ll share your story
I’ll hold you tightly in my heart
I’ll think of you every moment
with love and with wonder
and with such pleasure
I’ll tell a story a day
—Catherine Irwin
Goodbye and fare well Martin, my gentle friend.
Other than calling the narthex a foyer I really aligned with this. Rest in power Martin B. Thank you for the message to see the world and to be happy.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with your old friend Martin.The image of the passing of the urn and the music of the Dixieland band was striking. Mortality and music, death and yet life, indeed a life celebrated in its fullness. Martin had a great, joyous sendoff; the happy traveler is on his way and he left a great message for all of us—expand your horizons, “see the world and be happy.”
This was a moving tribute to your friend. A life well lived and a proper, joyous send off. Martin left good advice and a fine example to follow.
This is the first I’m hearing of Martin’s passing. I know he had a hard battle and I’m glad he’s at peace now. He was a great man.
Remembering for as long as we can, having reminders in a picture, an activity, a tradition, a meditation, a place, all help keep dear ones near. So glad you could do this for Martin and that he could go boldly with travel and courage until he left.
He was my (late) husband’s friend and colleague. The funeral gave me a chance to know him better. Thank you.
Thank you. Your friend and Mark Twain are so right about travel. Sounds like he lived well and broadly.
Thanks for this reminder to travel and to tell of it and that we should celebrate every life lived fully st the end.
One of the most beautiful celebrations of life I’ve ever witnessed. May we all see the world and of course, be happy.
The three deaths theory, attributed both to philosopher Anicius Boethius and contemporary writer David Eagleman, is perfectly encompassed in Catherine Irwin’s poem. Keeping a person alive through stories is the best way to pay tribute to their lives. It is how I keep my beloved grandparents with me. Thank you for these contemplative Sunday sermons, Reverend Randy. May firsthand tales of your friend Martin be a blessing to all who hear them for a long, long time to come.
Such an uplifting & moving celebration & poem. May his words inspire us to travel, SEE the world, & BE happy! I respect your tough decision to officiate… it all worked out! Thank you for sharing this story!🙏
I was just looking at photos of his house yesterday and thinking what a neat man he is. I’m sorry to hear of his passing, but happy to know he had some great friends supporting him and sending him off with love and gratitude. Now I’m off to make some travel plans…
“May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you, guide you all the way on…”