A voice is heard in Ramah
Weeping and great mourning
Rachel weeping for her children
And refusing to be comforted
Because they are no more
—Jeremiah 31.15
* * *
I envy my evangelical friends.
They face death with an unshakable confidence that after death they will be with Jesus in heaven, dwelling with all the saints, including their departed (“saved”) loved ones—mom, dad, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, grandchildren, and maybe even their pets. No more sorrows. No more tears. Endless bliss.
My older brother died believing that. After months of fighting cancer, he calmly resigned himself to death and welcomed it, saying: To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
My brother had faith.
According to the Apostle Paul, faith is a gift from God. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God—not the result of works, lest anyone should boast.
Reformers John Calvin and Martin Luther agreed. Faith is not something you can drum up. It’s a gift.
I don’t have it. I once thought I did. But I don’t. I have the gift of skepticism. I comfort myself by saying: At least I’m not gullible.
Still, I envy those who have the gift of faith.
One of my evangelical friends drove 160 miles from his home in Austin to Uvalde to stand with those who mourned the killing of 19 children and two teachers by a gunman. You don’t need faith to do that. You just need compassion for “Rachel weeping for her children.”
He went with an aching heart but returned consoled, in part, because he had sung along with a prayerful multitude of believers.
Hold on to me when it’s too dark to see you
When I am sure I have reached the end
Hold on to me when I forget I need you
When I let go, hold me again
The day after he arrived home, my friend reported his experience to his blog followers.
It was a long, late-night drive back to Austin, but I felt refreshed. Sometimes it seems the journey is uphill, against the wind, under dark skies, dangers lurking. And then you realize the one you long to see is not only waiting for you, but right there with you.
That’s the gift of faith.
Many of us keep on without it.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO REPLACE FAITH?
I still have faith but it is different from my former evangelical faith. I no longer count on God to save us from afflictions or to reward us for good behavior in an afterlife. That may happen. I’m just not counting on it. Instead I count on humans continuing to learn how to work together to make the world, both large and small, more righteous, healthy, peaceful, and wholesome for all. We are a relatively young species. We have a lot to learn. But, then, that’s our gift to cultivate diligently and faithfully.–Randy
I too have the gift of skepticism. But I try and balance that by being the best person I can be. Just in case there is a Heaven I hope to earn my way in!
What a great piece. I have often said the same about my family and friends who are believers. It took me years to figure out that there is nothing wrong with being outside the loop.
And sometimes the one for whom one is longing is within. Sharon Salzberg, a Buddhist master and teacher, has long wanted “faith” to be a dynamic separated from “religion” because of its importance, which she generally defines as trust in one’s authentic inner Self and guidance. In that regard, I have deep faith, as have you.
I am content that individuals experience “faith” to mean what they will. But please prevent the “evangelical faithful” from legislating my life. I have no faith in their ability, not their Constitutional right, to do that, which they have proven.
Our anguish and sorrow for the tragedy in Uvalde, for wanting the healing and regulation away from a gun culture, has never required religious faith. And the offering of “prayers” has not brought change, solace for loved ones, or increased “faith.” This supposed partnership offends intelligence, free though people are to “believe” and practice it. Not sure who walks beside them, but Jesus would not lay claim.
There is more than one kind of faith. Those who believe in a heaven only for the “saved” are not expressing a wholly loving God, but one who picks and chooses. They are not alone in that idea. Other paths take that position: that if you have the right beliefs or do the right things, God will reward you.
Personally, I believe in the Spirit that we are all part of–not separate from. And while I don’t know what happens when we die, I believe we somehow merge back into the One. Nothing ever really dies; it just changes. I find comfort in that.
I am delighted that Susan cited Sharon Salzberg, author of the wonderful book, Faith, who writes the following: “Faith does not require a belief system, and is not necessarily connected to a deity or God, although it doesn’t deny one. This faith is not a commodity we either have or don’t have—it is an inner quality that unfolds as we learn to trust our own deepest experience.” Her words are illuminating as faith can be understood as being inherent in each individual and universal in scope. Thus, faith transcends doctrines, mental concepts and even words. Skepticism can be a part of the journey as questioning leads to wonder and wonder to a sense of humble mystery and gratitude.
Thanks so much for your rock solid honesty, the first element of truth. Faith is not the absence of doubt. Even Jesus doubted on the cross: “Why hast Thou forsaken me?” We are all pilgrims walking as we are.
I find peace of mind in the precession of archetypes- human, animal, situational- endlessly repeating the tale of earth in succeeding permutations. The Book of Changes, the I Ching, suggests the existence of these bubbles of circumstance. Sometimes we are trapped in them; sometimes we can penetrate the membrane from one to the other.
It is the tale itself in which I trust- the order of the universe viewed from any aspect, at any scale, is a miracle. Our culture is way too vested in our own cleverness, thinking that we know; and our arrogance is isolating us. We have nothing new. We are big bags of water and other interdependent creatures with a diminishing connection to our biome as we doggedly isolate ourselves from our energetic connection to the earth by dwelling in our minds and our self indulgent toys.
My faith… get wet, get dirty, soak up the sun, find clean groundwater while it still exists. Embrace biodiversity. The archetypes are there, in the great wheel of nature, as a coda for faith.
Ah yes! Good old reliable Envy, one of the “deadly sins.” It’s never too far away and always strikes when least expected–hanging out and hanging on with its pals Avarice and Greed. (I’ll not give light to rest of that ever quarreling gang. They don’t need it.) Their collective goal is to trip us up and make us feel miserable about ourselves. They’re “deadly” because we’ve met the enemy and they are us.
Macbeth felt envy when Duncan, contrary to Scottish law and tradition, named his son, Malcolm, his successor. Upon the guilt ladened suicide of his wife and co-conspirator, Macbeth launches into a self-realized speech of resignation concerning his wretched, unredeemable life and concludes: “It is a tale told by an idiot / Full of sound and fury / signifying nothing.” This is what Envy will do for us.
Questioning is indeed one’s best friend. Remain a happy, though sometimes doubtful, Skeptic. For we truly, “dance beneath a diamond sky, with one hand waving free.” (Thanks, Bob!)
Yes, to all who share & reflect here. Faith: “complete trust or confidence in something or someone.”
My faith is dynamic, not static. I have faith in the sun that “arises” each morning and “sets” each evening. I have faith in the earth, which gives so bountifully, providing all we need. My faith waivers when what I want or hope for doesn’t happen in the time I desire… but sometimes it does, and I learn that patience & perspective build resilience. Do I have complete trust & confidence in humanity acting humanely? Based on the evidence, no. But do I have complete trust & confidence in the Creator of the earth, the sun, moon & stars – the creator of perfection & imperfect humans? Deep down inside, yes… when I am still. Yet still I doubt, as I seek answers. And so my faith grows, like a seed. Not yet “complete”… but growing.
When I was in my 20’s, I had the cosmos all figured out and felt assured of the meaning of life and evolution of Spirit. I felt invincible and knew that my world view (religion or philosophy) could not be shaken. With the coming of children there was a lot more fear about the fragility of life and there was a lot more praying for the well being of my loved ones. Now, there is a “wonder of it all” and how to move beyond belief and faith to direct realization. Like you, my worldview is an open question and as Lennon and McCartney wrote in the song Help, ” Now I find, I changed my mind and I am not so self-assured.” and as Dylan wrote about being set in views and ideas, “I was so much older then, I am younger than that now.”
But if faith works only as a gift, how can we take a leap of faith? We also read that love is greater than faith. This leaping agnostic exvangelical thus finds solace for now in the dialectic of faith and doubt and the mystery of fallibility and grace.
Some years ago, circumstances had me spending a lot of time with some Evangelicals. They were very kind and cared a great deal for me, and I for them. But however much I tried, I simply couldn’t understand their faith. I knew they felt sincere pain for me because they just knew that unbelievers were going to hell, no matter what good works they performed! I wish I could have faked faith, just because I didn’t want to hurt them, but I just couldn’t.
Having been raised a Lutheran, I remember when studying in my catechism class, asking my pastor about people in the world who don’t believe in the holy trinity or perhaps aren’t Christian but are good people who live & do good things for others. He gave a rambling response that was rather confusing & not very clear. I started then to begin to question religion (even though I was confirmed in the church in Worms, Germany where Martin Luther nailed the 95 thesis to the door). Yes, there may be a God but I think being a good person of integrity is what’s important. Too many religious people, particularly evangelicals (my sister & husband) think if they wrap themselves in the Bible & flag, that makes them good people. No, your behavior & actions are who you are. Too much rigidity, narrow thinking, hatred towards those who are different. I say to them, is that what Jesus would do? Opening one’s heart to others who are different is important to me.
I’ve learned to embrace mystery. I believe in a Creator, a creative force. Beyond that, much is mystery. Having lost a child, I know that death is closer than we imagine. But that has helped me to be grateful for the beauty of life, the memories we share, and to be grateful for the sun shining, the garden growing, and the rain that nourishes the soil. But most of all, the memories we share.
What happens when we die? It’s a mystery. But I trust that wonderful creative force has it figured out.
So many beautiful mandalas of poetry, understanding, experience and wisdom from so many beautiful people. Thanks to you all. I have nothing to add…miracles never cease…
Not just the post, but all the responses are a gift for me. This has been one of my favorite posts. Thank you for that, everyone.