I have officiated more than 250 weddings over 40 some years. But only one in front of six Supreme Court justices. It was at the historic St. John’s Episcopal Church in Virginia, 1991.
(Clarence Thomas wasn’t there. His contentious confirmation hearing had just ended.)
The justices were there because the bride’s father was a beloved and long time clerk at the Supreme Court. I was there because the bride was a parishioner of the Shepherdstown Presbyterian Church. She invited me to co-officiate with the rector of her childhood church.
(Have stole. Will travel.)
I went. I saw. I felt out of place.
I mean, look, the rehearsal dinner was at the Chevy Chase Club where a strict dress code is enforced. Luckily, the doorman let me in anyway.
In the church I wore a white alb, just like the rector. I felt at ease.
(No one looks uncouth in a white alb.)
The wedding reception was at a mansion near Dupont Circle in Washington, DC. Paula and I worked our way timidly around the parquet floor nodding to bejeweled and swankily dressed guests.
And then I saw Justice Antonin Scalia approaching.
Nice service, Father. I really enjoyed your remarks, he said.
Thank you.
(The Clarence Thomas hearing cried out, but I bit my tongue.)
So, what do you think of the new “designated hitter” rule in the American League? I asked.
(I knew he loved baseball.)
I hate it—and astroturf too!
We talked baseball for a while and then his wife joined us. She chatted with Paula and me and then asked, Where are you from?
West Virginia.
(You could hear her brain spinning.)
Oh, yes. West Virginia. I understand that Governor Caperton is the MOST cultured person in your state.
(I couldn’t let that stand.)
Actually, he’s not. He has a house on my road outside Shepherdstown, and he’s not even the most cultured person on that road.
(Befuddlement.)
Really? Who is?
My neighbor Phil Bufithis, professor of English at Shepherd College.
Really? I don’t know him. Do I?
No.
Our chat ended.
As they strode away, I thought I heard her say: Who knew, Nino? Who knew there are TWO cultured persons in West Virginia?
No one sang “Country Roads” at that reception. But it was on our minds all the way home—over country roads, to the place where we belong.
Mountain mama.
Take.
Me.
Home.
_______________________
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One of the best stories I’ve heard in a long time! Love it! Thanks for sharing. Here’s to your laser wit, your and Paula’s downhome “class,” Phil’s unparallelled eccentricity, and all the Bufithusians. Bravo!
Well played, Father Tremba
Love the weekly Devil’s Gift, but more so this week with the name drops of people I knew, to one degree or another. I met the Gov at his place when I was doing landscaping work with our beloved Pete Spaulding. I was a student of Phil Bufithis at Shepherd. Smart guy. Once he was convinced that I didn’t plagiarize an assignment, he asked if he could transcribe some of my comments to use for his own notes! I was flattered. Ah, back in the day as a student at Shepherd in the late 80’s. Shepherdstown was a magical place. I hope it still is.
Was that the St. John’s Episcopal Church on Lafayette Square in DC?
What a delightfully humorous story! Your Phil Bufithis zinger was a good one, even though they didn’t get it (but we do). At the same time, it is a sadly revealing one. It illustrates the pretension of class and “culture,” the facade and illusion of appearances via the “bejeweled and swankily dressed” materialism roaming the room,and the ego-centered status and stereotypes regarding a certain spot on the map. No wonder you “felt out of place!” Perhaps paraphrasing Robert Frost’s wise words would be helpful: “Home is the place, when you go there, they have to take you in.” The spirit of “Country Roads” called you back where you belong, a location where you can breathe, just be, and live in simple ease and honesty—not pretension.
Thank you for a vivid story… Caperton (& his wife), Phil B., & a reminder it wasn’t so long ago that Sen. Byrd, Sen. Rockefeller, & other dems led our underrated state. Let the snobs continue to avoid us with their upturned noses…& having visited several of our beautiful, breathtaking mountains at sunset, & early morning mists…I am so grateful for these country roads & down home wit.
Way to go, Randy!!
I think I have some recollection of that story…
It was St. John’s Episcopal Church in McLean, VA. I know, I was there 😊
I believe this St. John’s church is on Lafayette Square in Washington.
Thank you Randy. Socializing with Snobs is one of the most dreadful endurance tests I can think of. Take me Home! Indeed!
Brings tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing!
Like it or not, this place grows on you. Just when I started truly loving my old WV home, it’s changed!
I would bet there are a lot of very cultured persons of many kinds in West Virginia, including Phil Bufithis.
Funny, sad, realistic, and it made me think we don’t ask enough questions if we are asked one. Jesus often responded with a question. I am in a hurry to answer so often forget this art of connecting. I wonder what she would have said if asked, “What do you picture when you say a person is cultured?” Thanks for the reminder that I should pause at comments or questions and try to think of a good question in response.
Randy Tremba didn’t need West Virginia to polish himself off. After all, when he ran for student body president in college, he promised to bring wrecked cars onto campus for “date” socializing, and one of his campaign slogans was “Wear your Tremba button.” (I don’t think he said “Display your Tremba button,” but my memory could be a little off. The latter version was intended, but ….. “good taste, you know.”)