I had my eyes examined on Indigenous Peoples’ Day (formerly known as Columbus Day) in preparation for cataract surgery. Neither indigenous peoples nor Columbus were on my mind that day. But Columbus was on the mind of my ophthalmologist.
It was nearly two hours before I could actually see him. I first had to pass through two levels.
Level One: Forms.
Insurance, COVID, medical history, allergies, smoke, alcohol, recreational drugs, etc., etc., etc.
Level Two: Diagnosis.
Lots of slick machines.
Put your chin there and look straight ahead. Eyes wide open. Follow the red dot.
FLASH.
Eye drops. Sit. Wait. Open wide. FLASH. Drops. Sit.
Twiddle thumbs.
Mr. Tremba, follow me.
Level Three: The Doctor.
The doctor will be here shortly.
Twiddle thumbs.
And then, there he was. The ophthalmologist himself! In a white coat.
Hello, Randall.
I stood and shook his hand—a courtesy I was taught as a child.
Pleased to meet you, Doctor. It’s an honor to finally see the high priest.
He smiled quizzically.
What do you mean?
Well, like someone visiting the ancient temple in Jerusalem, I’ve had to pass through the Court of the Gentiles and then through the Holy Place before reaching the quarters of the high priest in the Holiest of Holies.
The Inner Sanctum.
Aha, I get it! I can see—said the ophthalmologist with a twinkle in his eye—that you’re an educated person. So I have three questions for you.
Okay.
Where did Columbus land in the New World?
The Bahamas.
Very good. Many people don’t know that.
Which president of the United States belonged to neither political party?
George Washington.
Right again.
(Easiest pop quiz ever!)
Finally, who is Harriet Lane?
You mean Harriet Tubman?
No. Harriet Lane. She lived here in Jefferson County before becoming the First Lady at the White House.
So she was the wife of a president?
No.
I was stumped. So much for being an educated person. He smugly told me the answer.
Two weeks later I was wheeled into the operating room for laser surgery. My ophthalmologist stood ready.
Before you proceed, I have a question for you.
Let’s hear it.
If Columbus discovered America, why isn’t it called Columbia?
I don’t know.
I began telling him about Amerigo Vespucci, but then the anesthesia kicked in.
I see better.
And I know that Harriet Lane was the only unmarried First Lady.
Had to look her up. The Jefferson county part got me curious…
https://mercersburghistory.org/blog/26/
Wow, I didn’t have a clue! My late father-in-law used to say, “It’s a sad day when you don’t learn something new.” So much for the idea of “being educated.” Perhaps Einstein was right: “The only thing that interferes with my learning is education.” Your experience with the doctor had a double bonus: enrichment of mind and sight!
Out of left field but I am also familiar with Harriet Lane. The main building of my preparatory school was named after her and her husband, but perhaps it goes without saying I wasn’t no choir boy.
From Wikipedia:
[Harriet Lane] added a codicil in her will in 1899 directing that a school building be constructed on the grounds of the Washington National Cathedral property and asked that it be called the Lane-Johnston Building “to the end that the family names of my husband and myself may be associated with the bequest made in loving memory of our sons.” A codicil of 1903 increased her gift by one third but said that only half the total was to be spent on the building. The remainder was “specially to provide for the free maintenance, education and training of choirboys, primarily those in service of the Cathedral.” This bequest founded the prestigious boys’ school that today is called St. Albans School, which opened in October 1909.
In 1905, guests were invited to see the cornerstone of the first St. Albans School building, laid for what the invitation referred to as “The Lane Johnston Choir School for Boys of the Washington Cathedral”.
You would had to go do this today when I need to leave the house early. Harriet Lane? Stumped me. Now I have to go look her up. Dolly Madison got married in Jefferson County. (Don’t ask me her maiden name.) I asked a docent the other day and he didn’t know either. Google has ruined all of us.
I often feel as you did – various levels to pass through. I always wonder why , if I filled out all the online forms, am I being asked these questions again. But that is not germane to this story. I enjoyed the history lessons from all. Thank you.
There are several of her belongings in the Jefferson County museum. A revenue cutter, later Coast Guard, was named for her. My son Kevin served on the current cutter Harriet Lane out of Portsmouth, VA
Susan and I just visited the birthplace of and memorial to President James Buchanan in Glen Cove, PA, just west of Mercersburg. It was an old trading post.
I loved your medical story…& learned something new. Thank you, Randy, & others here. President Buchanan’s niece, acting First Lady prior to Mary Todd Lincoln, supporter of worthwhile causes…sounds like a woman who really used the East Wing for good!
Good morning, and thank you. I looked up Harriet Lane and enjoyed what I learned about her. I also realized it had never registered on me that James Buchanan was the only single, never-married, president. One extra thing I learned about Harriet that I appreciated is that Lane continued to be involved in public life after her time in the White House. She later established a pediatric hospital, the Harriet Lane Home for Invalid Children, in Baltimore, which still operates today.
Excellent question. Who is Harriet Lane? I just watched a great YouTube of her life. BUT I knew of Harriet Lane and have a photo of her signature from Bedford Springs Resort. She was quite the socialite when she summered there during the stifling heat and stench of hot weather. Her Uncle had to write on several occasions to encourage a more moderate interaction during her stays. Harriet met her husband at Bedford Springs. She was a socialite and philanthropist bearing overwhelming loss. Good to see you on Friday.
Hah!, let’s see if I remember ! Interesting!
I had to look her up, too. And enriched my day.
Then there was Arnold Layne, on the other hand, who had a strange hobby.
Collecting clothes
Moonshine, washing line
Whatever happened to Trivial Pursuit? We could use a distraction. Thank the Good Lord for election results.
I think that this one falls into the category “I should have known that”. The pictured historical marker is directly across the street from our Mercersburg cycling “refueling” spot.