The Jewish Buddha says: Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about? —Zen Judaism by David Bader
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Last week I ran into one of my readers, a smart aleck, who asked with a smirk on his face if I had “yet another” installment for my “yourself” series. (“Know thyself.” “Love yourself.”) I didn’t, but I came up with one just for him.
Screw yourself! You smartass!
Okay. That was rude. Sometimes I forget that one of my many selves is a demon who needs to get out, get some air, and get some lovin’ once in a while. He has a twin sister, a jokester, who gets out more often. Sometimes they team up against a smart aleck.
Being flip to that loyal (but pesky) reader was me just being myself.
(Oh! There it is! Part three of the “self” trilogy.)
BE YOURSELF.
Simple.
But, alas, it’s not.
I’m pretty sure the only way to be yourself is to forget yourself, and if that’s a koan, so be it.
Forget yourself to be yourself.
Fun.
(Funny, indeed, says the jokester.)
I don’t know about you, but I’m not good at forgetting myself. I think about myself a lot. I ponder my looks, speech, actions, longevity, mortality, and legacy.
I sleep. I nap. I eat healthy foods. I do yoga and lift weights daily. I bicycle religiously. I weigh myself. I read. I write. I shop. I socialize. I fraternize.
(And know that I am.)
I regret things. I resolve to make amends, do better, listen more. I kick myself. And repeat.
(I fret, therefore I am.)
If only I could lose myself, I would find myself, or so I’ve heard. I’ve also heard that forgetting yourself is like falling asleep. The harder you try, the less you succeed.
I get that. But I keep trying to forget myself anyway.
C. S. Lewis said that the self is so endlessly fascinating that God had to create the universe just to get us to look at something else.
Maybe that’s the way out of self-centeredness: Fall in love with something bigger and even more beautiful than yourself.
The Torah says: Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says: There is no self. The Jewish Buddha says: I guess we’re off the hook.
And there ends the trilogy.
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My bible studies for the day!
In the end we focus outwards and stop the “navel gazing”? I like that. Just love your neighbor as best you can – understanding that some neighbors are not too lovable but try anyway.
I’m right there with you…thanks for my Sunday morning reflections – smiling & getting my coffee now – indeed; what WOULD we talk about?!
Last week I asked Siri how many selves I had and she said, This iphone belongs to Pat Donohoe. So after reading your blog today, I asked her who Pat Donohoe is. She said, “This is all the information I have on Pat Donohoe,” and up popped the entry for me from my iphone contact list. Then, after I set my phone down across the table and was telling Dave about that exchange, she said, You have to unlock your iphone first. I think the bottom line is that I belong to the iphone. Which begs the question, do I have any self outside of all my devices?
There’s a wise guy behind every rock, tree, nook, and cranny. They’re ubiquitous. We can’t avoid them. So why worry about them? Simply because they sometimes bug us. There’s a sign over my kitchen that offers good advice, “Frogs are smart. They eat the things that bug them.” So you did the right thing, Rev. You turned this guys snide sarcasm into another philosophical injunction, “Forget thyself to finally know thyself.” Good advice. David Crosby titled his first solo album, “If I Could Only Remember My Name”. Forgetting about ourselves seems counter intuitive. But it’s not. I’m reminded of the maxim, “Physician, heal thyself.” That’s right. Heal yourself first before you try to heal anyone else. Love and accept yourself before you try to love anybody else. Once again, I turn to the wise words of George Harrison, “It’s then you realize that you are very small and life flows on within you and without you.”
“I shut my eyes in order to see.” – Paul Gauguin
Me! Me! Me!
It’s all about me!
When Buddhism affirms “no self,” it is in the sense that there are no separate selves. Therefore, we “inter-are” and hence are empty of a permanent, separate existence. Emptiness does not mean nothingness. “To be” is always to “inter-be.” Thus, we move from “I” to “we,” from “my and mine” to “us and ours.”
Perhaps a thought by William Sloane Coffin would be instructive: “Love measures our stature: the more we love, the bigger we are. There is no smaller package in the world than that of a man all wrapped up in himself!”
Finally, in order to gain a still broader perspective, I would also suggest going to YouTube and watching Carl Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot.” Along with interbeing and love, it will enhance a larger vision and encourage humility.
Become yourself. Bob Dylan tried to become Woody Guthrie. He changed his name. Said he was from Gallup, NM. Became one of many young folk singers. Then he turned politics and philosophy into poetry. Wrote music and created amazing art that moved the youth of a powerful nation. And became Bob Dylan. Sun Tzu in The Art of War said to know yourself is a great strength in conflict. Aging gracefully is a process of becoming. Becoming is practicing authenticity. How can we live a better life if we don’t live an examined life? Thanks Randy for including us in your becoming. Keep becoming. Become yourself.
One of the favorite ways most people have to enlarge their world and experience connections beyond words is to share your life with animals. When you’re caring for and hanging out with an animal, sharing their world, you step out of the illusion that everything revolves around yourself.