Love your neighbor as yourself.
—Matthew 22.39
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Of course there had to be a sequel to last week’s post: “Know thyself.” Here it is: “Love yourself.”
Knowing is good. Loving is better. I think you’ll agree.
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Indeed. Of course. Amen.
It’s one of the most holy, healthy, wholesome, memorable, and challenging maxims ever. We must love ourselves before we can love anyone else. I’ve preached that a thousand times.
Self-love comes first.
But I now realize it’s not such sound advice after all. It’s an illusion. It’s another rabbit hole, a hall of mirrors leading to self-centeredness, narcissism, and apathy. The bellybutton gaze.
Who’s loving the self? Who’s the lover and who’s the beloved? How does one self love the many selves? For example, one person’s many selves may include child, parent, rebel, tyrant, recluse, shaman, prima donna. Do you love each differently? If so, how? And, by the way, what is love?
As it turns out, loving yourself is fraught.
But, alas, I recently noticed that’s not even part of the maxim.
I could have sworn it was. But it isn’t.
It’s “Love your neighbor AS yourself,” not “Love your neighbor as YOU LOVE yourself.”
(Jesus, what a let down! How many sermons must I recall?)
Much to my surprise, the maxim is even more profound and powerful without “you love.”
The correction matters. Take another look. It’s mind-bending.
Love your neighbor as yourself means love your neighbor as though your neighbor is you. Your neighbor IS you.
By loving others we are loving ourselves.
Simple. No rabbit hole.
Yes, love is affection, a warm feeling. But it’s not only a feeling. It’s action. It’s listening. It’s caring. It’s an act of the will. Affection helps (a lot), but it’s not necessary.
I’m not sure what love is all about. But I do know it has something to do with paying attention. And that’s a good place to start. Pay attention to your neighbor.
You are me, and I am you.
Isn’t it obvious that we “inter-are”?
You cultivate the flower in yourself,
so that I will be beautiful.
I transform the garbage in myself,
so that you will not have to suffer.
I support you;
you support me.
I am in this world to offer you peace;
you are in this world to bring me joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
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I am he / As you are he / As you are me
And we are all together. Coo coo cachoo
From Grateful Living This Morning. — Serendipty (Found just after reading your offering)
—WORD FOR THE DAY —
Let love start this day. Let love end this day.
Let love transform the minutes in between.
RACHEL MACY STAFFORD
Often Jesus’s words are simple, but following them is a challenge on this earth for a lifetime. Thanks for the reflection on loving others.
As ever, your floral garden is in its splendor and brings great joy.
Your thoughts reminded me of something I recently read that stuck in my mind. Desmond Tutu explained that in Southern African villages, one would ask in greeting, “How are we?” The Archbishop was illustrating the concept of Ubuntu, emphasizing the importance of a group or community. Umbuntu is also expressed as “a person is a person through other persons.”
The discussion of Ubuntu included the Buddhist concept of Mudita, which (very simply stated) also recognizes our interdependence.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
“How are we?”
(The book I’ve been reading is “The Book of Joy,” by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, with Douglas Abrams.)
You bit off a big one today, my brother. Many of us weren’t taught to love ourselves, but to fit ourselves in boxes of expectations and social approval. We grow up mistrusting ourselves and our desires, dreams and hopes. As you point out, many of us can’t love ourselves till we figure out where we fit in a world where love can be elusive. That’s why leaders like you are so important: teaching us that love is acceptance and forgiveness and finding the divinity within us and everyone around us.
Hillel the Elder was known for studying the Torah and working as a woodcutter. His life straddled the end of the first century BCE and the beginning of the first century CE.
He is said to have written, “That which is hateful to you, do not do unto your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is its interpretation. Go study.”
And there is the rub for rabbits and people living in holes or homes, adapting and adopting the best they can, interpreting purposefully or not. Prepared to live in testament to the old and new interpretations. Hoping that they might just get it right.
The telescopic lens from us to them, with ongoing adjustments for love and hate, creates a challenge of biblical proportions.
So right you are, Rev. Love begins at home, meaning of course, within ourselves. Ringo Starr exhorts us to “give more love.” As a lyric, by WV songwriter, Billy Ed Wheeler, suggests, “You’ve got to give until you get, I’m the one who ought to know…” (From the song “Desert Pete”.) Correct. The pitfall is becoming self-centered and narcissistic. So let’s be careful and press on in our brief moment of life with giving more love. Nothing else is possible without it. What we may think is truth may actually be illusion. Give more love and know the difference. Easy to say; harder to do. But what isn’t?
So beautifully & simply put! A profound insight… and reminder to be present with others, to witness others as they are, and BE with them – like the Fisher King we rewatched last night… love thy neighbor, and in that love we find life & sorrow, and the beauty of us all. Thank you, Randy, and all of you…”won’t you please, won’t you please – please won’t you be my neighbor 🎶☮️💓🙏🏼
Perhaps a quote from the Book of John and Paul will clarify things:
“And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take.”
A marvelous blog! According to Paul Tillich, love is in itself a manifestation of knowledge. The more you love, the more you learn. It is a kind of relational education.
Additionally, love is a choice. M.Scott Peck reminds us that “we don’t fall in love, but rather march into love.” Thus, love is not a feeling alone, but an ability. Rather than there being a “rabbit hole,” there can be a healthy and holistic experience. And, in the process of loving your neighbor, you realize that you are that neighbor as well!
I asked Siri how many selves I have. She said, This iphone belongs to Pat.
Great post, and I will chime in with the other posters about those who share this understanding. Walt Whitman “I contain multitudes” — I am as you are. We are all connected with the same stuff.
Great idea, now clarified, elaborated, and strengthened in this post and comments. Much appreciated. We might also consider another implication. And what is more narcissistic than making it all about me and God instead of loving all as ourself?