Love your neighbor as yourself.
—Matthew 22.39
* * *
Of course there had to be a sequel to last week’s post: “Know thyself.” Here it is: “Love yourself.”
Knowing is good. Loving is better. I think you’ll agree.
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Indeed. Of course. Amen.
It’s one of the most holy, healthy, wholesome, memorable, and challenging maxims ever. We must love ourselves before we can love anyone else. I’ve preached that a thousand times.
Self-love comes first.
But I now realize it’s not such sound advice after all. It’s an illusion. It’s another rabbit hole, a hall of mirrors leading to self-centeredness, narcissism, and apathy. The bellybutton gaze.
Who’s loving the self? Who’s the lover and who’s the beloved? How does one self love the many selves? For example, one person’s many selves may include child, parent, rebel, tyrant, recluse, shaman, prima donna. Do you love each differently? If so, how? And, by the way, what is love?
As it turns out, loving yourself is fraught.
But, alas, I recently noticed that’s not even part of the maxim.
I could have sworn it was. But it isn’t.
It’s “Love your neighbor AS yourself,” not “Love your neighbor as YOU LOVE yourself.”
(Jesus, what a let down! How many sermons must I recall?)
Much to my surprise, the maxim is even more profound and powerful without “you love.”
The correction matters. Take another look. It’s mind-bending.
Love your neighbor as yourself means love your neighbor as though your neighbor is you. Your neighbor IS you.
By loving others we are loving ourselves.
Simple. No rabbit hole.
Yes, love is affection, a warm feeling. But it’s not only a feeling. It’s action. It’s listening. It’s caring. It’s an act of the will. Affection helps (a lot), but it’s not necessary.
I’m not sure what love is all about. But I do know it has something to do with paying attention. And that’s a good place to start. Pay attention to your neighbor.
You are me, and I am you.
Isn’t it obvious that we “inter-are”?
You cultivate the flower in yourself,
so that I will be beautiful.
I transform the garbage in myself,
so that you will not have to suffer.
I support you;
you support me.
I am in this world to offer you peace;
you are in this world to bring me joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
_______________________
Share this post with friends. Use links below.
Not a subscriber? Subscribe here. Free. No ads. Unsubscribe anytime.
