There actually is such a place. It’s just outside Huntington on the Ohio River Road heading north. You can’t miss it. There’s a hand-painted sign. WE GOT THE WEENIES. The “dining room” is two school buses jammed together.
It’s what’s called a “point of destination.” Which means it’s not on your way to somewhere else. Or next to another place you happen to be. There’s nothing else out there. Which means you actually thought about it and still went.
My friend (who shall remain nameless) took his prom date there. Engagements have been announced there. Weddings have been held there. (You get a “Weenie Wedding Certificate.”)
As far as I know, babies coulda been born there. (There’s a Bouncin’ Baby Combo on the menu.) People could easily die there. I saw hefty patrons huffing—shoe-horning into seats.
The menu nicely accommodates death.
For $19.99, you can order the Homewrecker: a 15-inch, 1-pound weenie with 2 pounds of toppings, including jalapeños, sautéed peppers & onions, nacho cheese, Habaneros, chili sauce, mustard, slaw, lettuce, tomato, and shredded cheese.
Or, if you need quicker results, you can upgrade to the Widow Maker for $32.50. That would be a 30-inch, 2-pound weenie, and 4 pounds of toppings!
Paula and I went there for lunch. Our whole food, plant-based diet took a back seat and turned its head.
We didn’t want to overly jeopardize our mortality (or marriage) so we ordered lite fare (two regular weenies with chili sauce, onion, mustard, French fries, and pop). I know sugary pop isn’t good for you, so I got a Devil Anse (Hatfield) IPA instead. (WE GOT THE BREWSKIES)
That morning I had made a presentation to 50-some men and women working with Coalfield Development Corporation to revitalize southern West Virginia. I had spoken of our divine-like capacity to transform suffering—large and small, regional and personal—into something whole and wholesome through creative work.
Creative work takes many forms. It could be deadly serious. Or fun and funky (and only marginally wholesome).
In the fall of 1999, a certain hillbilly came back home with his California bride, put up a 12-by-16 shed on the land where he’d grown up, and started selling hotdogs. A dream come true. Sonny and Sharie got married there three days later.
They’ve been renewing their wedding vows there every year since.
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If you’re going to Hillbilly Hot Dogs, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair and pack a pocketful of Tums.
What a hoot! Perfect!
Snow… Yes! It was a week of some of the very best childhood memories to come a-visiting, much like returning “home” to build one’s dream, and best memories, with a beloved. Hot dogs and snow–who knew they were the stuff of our favorite dreams-come-true?
Sometimes you’ve just got to do it just because it’s there. Hillbilly Hotdogs! A great place to go before the world shut down. Covid was already raging across the land. Chicken Little was suddenly not sounding a false alarm. The sky was truly falling. Apparently, chili dogs did you and Paula no harm. 🙂
Thanks Rev for re-posting this. I love unique, even wacky and worn such roadside “attractions” that aren’t big chains, homogenized and bland, but real and local with some genuine authenticity. I love to drive on pre-interstate federal highways and discover such places. Dinosaur Land, boiled peanut stands in Georgia, old general stores, farm stands, even tourist traps. Happy Sunday Everyone!!
years ago always enjoyed backroads in Maryland, and Virginia on the way to the shore. old antique stores, old truckstops ,critter and snake museums before every thing became one big franchise and every stop along the road looked the same. Up here in New York. We are lucky to have a long-standing candy kitchen and café, where all the candy is handmade and homemade and absolutely delicious and owned by the same family.