My New Year’s Eve post went out as scheduled last Sunday. Once I saw it, I started kicking myself.
STUPID ME.
I had taken the previous week off, so I reposted an old piece thinking my previous reflections on Epiphany (Star of Bethlehem) could best fill that space on the last day of the year.
WRONG.
On the threshold of a new year I missed an opportunity to hear from you.
(NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION: Talk less, listen more; pontificate less, inquire more.)
Monday morning it dawned on me that although I had made a mistake, there was time to make amends.
Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you do next that matters most.
* * *
Fortunately, I remembered that lesson ten years ago at a Christmas Eve family service.
Midway through the service the children left their pews and squeezed around the manger in the chancel, which was surrounded by a menagerie of stuffed animals brought out of storage just for that event. A grandmother read the Nativity Story. The children wriggled. We sang “The Friendly Beasts.” And then I cheerfully dismissed the cherubic children.
As the children merrily scrambled back to their parents, I spied one child clutching a bear he’d taken from the nativity scene.
HE STOLE IT.
I stopped him and snatched said bear from his hands.
Sorry, Michael, that’s the church’s bear, not yours.
I returned it to the chancel.
WHERE IT BELONGED.
Michael burst into tears and raced back to his mother. Sobbing.
I FELT LIKE SHIT.
The world’s worst pastor.
He’ll hate me. He’ll hate the church. He’ll hate baby Jesus. He’ll hate God for the rest of his life. He’ll become a sociopath.
ALL BECAUSE OF ME.
The service continued with carols and readings, but my mind was elsewhere—reeling in remorse, kicking myself. And then I remembered: The service isn’t over, and Michael is still in the building.
The clock was ticking. My mind was flailing.
EUREKA.
I pronounced the benediction, fetched the bear from the chancel, walked up the aisle, reached into the pew where Michael was, and handed the bear to him.
Michael, please take care of this bear until next Christmas.
I patted his head.
He beamed and hugged the bear.
* * *
Two Sundays ago (December 24) I posted “Keep Hope Alive.” Last Sunday (December 31) I should have asked:
How will YOU keep hope alive in 2024?
For me – reviewing goals and chopping them up
into achievable pieces. Outside me – kindness and involvement with others and the world. I think hope requires action.
Vote for Democrats, otherwise known as democracy, to save our democracy. 🙏🤞💪🌈💖🤗
Yes…hopefully the funnel will not pick up speed…the eye of the storm will give us reprieve and put democracy in it’s intended direction…”all of us are created equal”. The storms will always be there… it’s our human nature. Lets take care of the Teddy Bears that belong to others!
To nurture love and to act for justice. To send poems from my deepest places into the universe. To live honestly and authentically. To do good. To rest fully and easy. To follow the Light. To magnify the good in the world.
With respect to your immediate blog, I am reminded of something that Abhijit Naskar, the celebrated neuroscientist, said: “Mistakes you make during your struggles are not the shame of your life, they are the cornerstones of clarity and conviction.” Hence, there is really no need to kick yourself, only to be kind to yourself, and allow mistakes to become “cornerstones of clarity and conviction”—which you have done!
With respect to keeping hope alive, I do not make new year’s resolutions. However, I am mindful of an affirmation for a peaceful and open mind made by the late Tibetan Buddhist nun Ani Trime. It is a worthy aspiration: “When I open my heart, my mind is free.”
To the question. I just finished Val McDermid’s “The Skeleton Road.” A piece of crime fiction. I thought it would be a bit of escape after a more serious novel and before moving on to an even more serious work of non-fiction. Instead, along with an extremely well plotted mystery, I found myself reflecting on issues of war and justice. One phrase stuck out: “he had condemned her to hope.” It challenges our unreflective embrace of “hope” and calls us to live where we are, with what we have.
Great story to start the year. How many Michaels can we all make happy in 2024
I’ll watch the news less and try to see all people as an expression of the Divine and less as Republican or Democrat. I’m trying to view myself as not belonging to a particular tribe. I’ll try to be kinder, less angry.
by repeating a mantra to those dragged down by the relentless political gloom machines — when you hear a poll that says 70% of Republicans believe a particular thing or favor trump, remember that 40% of people self-identify as Republicans. That is 28% of American who will for sure vote for him, His high approval is only among Republicans — not the entire electorate. Yeah, no one likes either candidate now (except disciples) but people will come around and head off a disaster.
Beautiful! Do you recall if the bear was praying? Peace, Rob
When I tutored middle and high school students from 2008-2014, I found myself telling them, after their self-incriminations much like yours, “Mistakes are an essential part of the learning experience. If you did not make mistakes in this particular area of focus, would it need to be an area of focus?” They understood immediately, and “learning” proceeded. My positive take-away from your Devil’s Gift today is that, having commemorated the profoundly disturbing January 6th attempted insurrection only yesterday, you are NOT engaging in revisionist history, insisting that your action with Michael was a righteous moral lesson that surely others would be quick to undermine. Being honest about mistakes and taking corrective action is not only dynamic learning; it is the foundation of all healthy functioning relationships and systems. But please don’t ever refer to yourself as “stupid” again. Not ever.
Perspective… “he stole it” turned to “he loves it…” and you found a way to give him an opportunity to love & care, and then return the thing he loves… you learned, he learned and we learned. I thank heaven for these precious growth opportunities, and for this forum to share and grow that you have created. Starry Messenger by Neil deGrasse Tyson was a recent gift on Perspective… I laughed, I shed a tear or two, I pondered, and my heart grew wide as I read it. It gave me hope at a time (2024) I need it. So I’ll continue to read, to grow my perspective, and to open my eyes, my mind and my heart…. Keeping hope & love alive… thanks for asking👍🏼☺️
Sportswriter Dave Kindred was asked “What people qualities do you most admire?” His answer:
“*Perseverance in difficulty
*Honesty in transactions
*Fairness in judgments
*Dignity in defeat
*Humor in embarrassments”
There’s a retired preacher in Shepherdstown who has all these and passed them along. That’s a service.
Merry Christmas and a nod to the future for all the Trembas, whatever the age.
Jim
I thought about my ( as yet undefined) resolutions as I read the piece and comments. Here’s what I am holding on to. You are a really good person who makes me think and there are more smart , thoughtful people than we assume in our small world. So I’ll just keep trying to be a good person ,vote for democracy and look for an expat community if that fails.
Without hope, we’re truly lost. It’s never too late to start loving and better accepting ourselves.
The problem with living in a highly polarized political environment, can make it difficult to remain neutral. For those of us a certain age: do you remember Buddhist monks burning themselves to death on the streets of Saigon, as the city was known at the time, to protest the war, and an authoritarian regime masquerading as a democracy?
May you be born in interesting times, is more of a curse than a blessing. Follow Ringo Starr’s instruction and Give More Love. But let’s start first with loving ourselves.