you can’t hurry love,
No, you just have to wait.
Love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take
* * *
That’s one wise mother ’cuz you can’t hurry love. You just can’t.
I once asked my mother when she was 80 or so if she had any regrets. Just one, she said. I’ve accumulated all this wisdom over the years and nobody wants to hear it.
Well, over those years I heard it bit by bit whether I wanted to or not.
My mother grew up in rural Georgia and had to leave school after the eighth grade to help support her mother and siblings. Still she was smart, well-read, wise, and witty. Above all she wanted her children to get an education. After my college graduation ceremony she hugged me and said: Education is a great thing as long as you don’t let it go to your head.
That’s one thing my mama said. What about yours?
In the comment window below, write something memorable your mama said once, or over and over again. Return to the site later to see the gems others left. Let’s preserve and propagate the wisdom of our mothers.
OK, here’s a tale out of the school of hard knocks: My mother always said to my sister Betsy and me, “Get your college education so you don’t have to depend upon a man.” She never had the chance to get a college education, but man oh man, was she right.
That is exactly what my Mom said over and over to me.
My mother always said, “Don’t marry for money, marry for love. But always love where there is a little money.” She was so wise.
Before I went out the door into The World every day my Mother customarily would say: ‘Remember who you are.’ I’m still working on that.
My mother often said “This too shall pass”. The statement has been very helpful at difficult times. Nothing in this life is permanent.
When I was in my teenage years … I remember my mother saying, “Don’t tell secrets to a friend, because she has a friend.
Actually, my mother said what Pat Donohoe’s mother said. Perhaps i took those words way too seriously, perhaps not. Perhaps they went to different schools together.
Cause you can’t hurry love.
My mother also said ‘chew your food’ and ‘wear a sweater.’
My mother always said “Life’s too short…” when I would worry or get upset… that’s how she lived every moment 💓
My mother always said, make sure you have clean underwear on when you go out just in case you have a wreck and have to go to the hospital. Always thought that was kind of funny to have clean underwear in case someone else might see them.
My Mother also said to wear clean underware incase you were in an accident.
She also would say, “It’s nice to be important but much more important to be nice. Wise words that!
Forgiveness is the basis of Christianity. I’m still working on that.
Pat and Becky, my mother must have conferred with yours. She had three daughters and told us over and over “Make your own money. Don’t expect a man to do it, and don’t expect your parents to do it.” I think she was afraid we’d go have babies and bring them to her to raise! 😉 —None of us did.
Hey, Becky–maybe our moms were related. Who knows? My mom also said, “If you’re thinking it, you might as well say it.” The painful part of that lesson was learning not to follow it–at least not all the time.
Wisdom is manifested in different ways. Sometimes it is spoken; sometimes it is presence.
My mother said little, as my father was dominant. But I recall her peaceful sensitivity, her warm smile, her beautiful face and radiant blue eyes. Above all, it was her kind presence—one that still lives in me today. For that, I am humble and grateful.
My mother had many rules for daily living that I hear in my mind frequently, but the one I remember best is “If you are going to do something, do it with excellence.”
“If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all,” was one of Mom’s favorites. I took it seriously and became an introvert.
I’m with Phil—that was my mother’s mantra for exiting the house, too–remember who you are! I was so relieved finally to get a driver’s license for quick checks as to who I am.
My Schwaebisch mother used to say, “Wear an apron!” It drove me crazy as a kid but you didn’t dare talk back in 1955. As soon as I started standing on my own two feet those aprons went to the back of the closet and were never worn again. However, (and this may be an oversimplified over interpretation) I never shied away from hard work, paired with some thoughtful preparation and bravery, appropriate caution and a healthy portion of common sense attached to calculated risk assessment and it has served me well for the last 70 years. Thanks, Mom!
My mother often quoted her father who used to say, “Convince a man against his will, he’s of the same opinion still.” She would often say this whenever differing views arose. Also, in her final years, whenever we would visit her in the nursing home and get ready to leave, instead of saying “Be careful going home”, she would always say, “Go gently.”
My mother was a women of few words, but many acts of love.
I will always remember my mother faithfully conferring this blessing on me—at birthdays and other significant life passages. Sometimes all she would say is the first line when I was going out the door.
“WATCH over thy child, O Lord, as his days increase; bless and guide him wherever he may be, keeping him unspotted from the world. Strengthen him when he stands; comfort him when discouraged or sorrowful; raise him up if he fall; and in his heart may thy peace which passeth understanding abide all the days of his life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”
In my case it’s not what my mother said, but rather, what she did that had the greatest impact on me. Mom wasn’t one to judge. When we didn’t live our lives as she might have hoped, she loved us regardless. Her unconditional love ultimately made her a great woman forever, in my heart.
My German mother (personified) loved to jokingly discipline me in front of my kids when we visited, and would always end with, “Remember, I am still your mother!”
Another admonishment from my German mother as I was growing up when there was anything I needed to take seriously was: “You better be home on time, cause you know….” It was always that cause you know that would put the fear of God in you.
She had a hard life, suffering through WWII and the Allied bombings of her city, Mainz. Blessings to you Mom and I still fret about being on time.
“Que sera, sera. The future’s not ours to see”.
My mother said the only acceptable excuse to miss church was if you were sick or had to work. My father made good use of the work exception.
So many fond memories of mothers here: I can take vicarious pleasure in this collective happiness. My own mother, gone along with my father since 2017, never shared any wisdom that I can remember, any gold nuggets that a child would carry into adulthood. What I received from my mother was her love of color, her deep sensitivity to living things—animal, plant, land, water, sky—her deep need to create. I didn’t receive any of her original artwork while she was alive. But over the last four and a half years that my steadfast helpmate and I have worked to clean and clear their house outside Harpers Ferry I’ve gifted myself with things of beauty from my mother’s making and finding. I’m grateful for each of them and the good in my mother that they reflect.
My mom was a prosecutor and every year she would bring up the fact that Mother’s Day is the day with the lowest crime.. I think that says a lot about how many moms commit crimes throughout the year, but can’t today because they’re too busy being celebrated.
From my mom: “Chew with your mouth closed”
My mom was born in 1913, an older mom who taught school for 50 years. Her actions were her words of advice. But I do remember the day my HS boyfriend was at my house and asked me to make him lunch. She pulled me into hall and said..”make that sandwich because you want to, but remember, it could start a very bad habit if it is expected” . That said, I grew up in 50s/60s with untraditional parental roles and remember much more from my dad!
I have spend the day trying to remember things my mother said, and failed. But, what I still remember clearly are the 30 some years as a foster parent (certainly, along with Dad) that began as I was still a toddler. There was hardly ever a time that there weren’t one or more children who had become part of our family for short and sometime long stays. That continued after I had grown and was living on the opposite coach. There were certainly words that accompanied that love, but they have faded into the background and the visual memories remain so very clear.
Boop repeated so many ‘Mom-isms’ from her Mom;
“God helps those who help themselves’”but evidently not when it came to helping myself in the cookie jar!
“Only boring people get bored”
When we we couldn’t find something it was “hanging on my back” -meaning she couldn’t keep track of everything for everyone!
But Boop’s words of wisdom to her three daughters, countless exchange students and seven grands was uttered each and every time we walked out the door, “make good choices”.
Sure wish I would have written more of these down…
My grandma once told me…….”once you get up in the morning, don’t let yourself lay back down, just get about your day”…..some days I need the echo of her advice.
“Mama said there’ll be days like this
There’ll be days like this mama said>
(Mama said, mama said)
Mama said there’ll be days like this
There’ll be days like this my mama said
Mama said, mama said
Hey, don’t you worry
Mama said, mama said
Hey, don’t you worry now
Mama said, mama said
Same as many above. “Learn a trade so you won’t have to depend on a man.”
Also, “Eat everything on your plate. Children in China are starving.” and “Keep your elbows off that table!”
Mom often pulled out the well-worn: “waste not want not”, “a penny saved is a penny earned”, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it”, “there but for the grace…”. And when I returned empty handed after she sent me off to get something from the pantry, “if it was a snake, it would’ve bit you”. Oh yeah, and I often heard, “David, red up your room!”, which is an old Pennsylvania dutchy saying.
These all are so great to read. What wisdom—gained from experiencing life’s ups and downs are gathered here. I’ll add one more to sister Pat’s list. Whenever we got a little too big for our own britches, our mom would remind us…”Pride cometh before a fall…”.
Mom would “tuck us into bed.” One night, I was probably around 8, I was distressed about how big the universe was…does it go on forever!!? She said “just stop at every star…” Oh, I loved that, be in the moment and you don’t have to take the whole universe in.
It’s gratifying to see how many of us had mothers who stressed education as the primary path to independence, contribution, and fulfillment. Especially in these times when public education that is inclusive and women’s rights to their own bodies are under attack. Here’s to our prescient moms!
A favorite of my mother “-People find the time to do the things they want to do”. That has endless applications.