I got my first pedicure last week. Heavenly. I’ve got happy feet. I’m walking on sunshine. My socks don’t snag on jagged nails anymore. I’m a believer. I might become an evangelist for pedicurism.

This was not an impulsive decision. I’d been thinking about it on and off for at least 10 years. I’d get ready to call the salon and suddenly feel squeamish. It seemed too decadent for my latent hippie sensibilities. And worse than that, it seemed unmanly. Effete. (Ha ha!) But my woke conscience shrieked:

Shame on you. Don’t tell me real men don’t eat quiche or wear pink or get pedicures. I bet LeBron James does. I’m pretty sure Tom Brady has a pedicurist on his domestic staff.

So last week I made the call to TD Nails. I thought there might be a six-month wait as there was for my last colonoscopy.

Nope. Tomorrow will be fine.

Any preparation or diet restrictions?

Nope. Just bring your feet.

I liked this place already.

I arrived a few minutes early in case I had to inscribe my nail history and/or allergies and medications while biding time in a holding cubicle. There was none of that.

The salon was abuzz with cheerful women. I didn’t see any men. I asked the Vietnamese attendant if men ever availed themselves of these services.

Oh, yes. Many. Especially in summer.

Why summer?

Older men wear open-toe sandals in summer and want to look good.

Okay. Of course, of course. I’ve never been tempted to look at old men’s exposed toes, but I will this summer.

My feet soaked in warm water for 20 minutes. The pedicurist gently held my feet and surgically trimmed and shaped my nails, filed the tips, scoured my soles with a pumice stone (not for the ticklish), and massaged my toes, feet, ankles, shins, and calves with lotion for 10 minutes.

(A treatment I’d never get from anyone in my podophobic family!)

Going to feel lot better.

Great. And will I live longer?

Oh yes. You live to be 100.

Awesome.

I stood up and sighed. I felt better. Tranquil. Reposed. Collected.

For one whole hour I hadn’t thought once about Putin, Ukraine, Gaza, Christian nationalism, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Mike Johnson, or the Antichrist.

I left a big tip.

There’s a lot you can’t cure in this world of woe, but you can get a pedicure.