Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
—Kahlil Gibran “On Marriage” (abridged) from The Prophet
* * *
I’ve heard “let there be spaces in your togetherness” read at many weddings and thought it sweet but also trite and not relevant to exceptional marriages like my own. I was wrong.
To celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, Paula and I flew across the pond.
Day one. Tuesday, September 14.
We rode to Dulles Airport stood in line went through TSA inspection sat at the gate boarded the plane sat side by side for six hours arrived in Scotland early Wednesday morning passed through customs sat side by side on a bus to Edinburgh walked around and about sightseeing for eight hours until the Airbnb check-in at 4 p.m.
That’s a lot of togetherness in 36 sleepless hours.
That’s not normal. But we did it.
We entered the Airbnb. Two rooms and a bath. No space.
Day two.
We ate breakfast visited several notable historic sites took coffee and scones at a sidewalk cafe toured Her Majesty’s Yacht Britannia visited a cathedral and an art gallery and dined at a tapas restaurant.
Lots of togetherness. No space.
Day three.
More sites. More togetherness. No space.
Day four.
We took a train to Inverness rented a small car and drove to our second Airbnb.
Day 5–10.
We drove miles and miles sitting side by side stopped to admire spectacular scenes hiked along hills and through valleys climbed to waterfalls stopped for scones toured castle ruins took a Loch Ness guided tour (no “Nessie” spotted) inspected a thatched-roof cottage at Glencoe in the Highlands drove more miles sitting side by side to another Airbnb in Oban ferried to the Isle of Mull walked about the quaint village of Tobermory and ate whiskey-flavored ice cream.
More togetherness. No space.
Day 11–21
Drove to Glasgow flew to Dublin rented a car drove four hours to Killarney later to Sligo then to Donegal’s Slieve League (breathtaking!) cliffs then to Nenagh and Rock Cashell in County Tipperary.
Kilometer after kilometer. Together. No space.
This ain’t normal. I love you but…
Day 18
Paula took her camera and went off to an Atlantic seascape alone. I stayed behind and read a book.
The winds of the heavens danced between us.
Paula returned. We went to a pub, ordered fish and chips and two pints of Guinness.
So, how was your day?
Day 22.
On the road back to Dublin.
Side by side.
Still married.
