I saw Charles III crowned in Westminster Abbey. I expected Monty Python to save the day. No such luck. No comic relief.
Just lots of pomp.
But there was a “tender moment of intimacy,” as the BBC put it. After paying homage to the king, Prince William rose from his knees, maneuvered around the bulging crown, and kissed his father. I had to playback the video, but I’m pretty sure that after receiving said kiss the king did raise his left eyebrow a smidgen.
I missed Queen Elizabeth’s coronation. So everything I saw last Saturday was new to me.
I saw that a lot of Brits have been storing medieval regalia in their attics for seven decades.
I saw that the king could sit for a really long time. I saw that he could, without giggling, let weirdly dressed men fit him with the royal stole, the robe royal, the royal glove (like an oven mitt), and the royal golden girdle on which to hang his royal sword, which he’s not allowed to keep for some weird reason.
I saw that he could nod imperially at cool stuff sequentially presented to him (spurs, bracelets, ring, orb), which he’s not allowed to keep for some weird reason.
I saw that he could stand up and shuffle from the Coronation Chair to The Throne while gingerly balancing The Crown on His Head.
I heard that he was a “faithful Protestant” and would “defend the faith.” I’m pretty sure that’s the Protestant faith because it allows for divorce, which the Catholic faith inconveniently prohibits.
Long live our noble King!
I saw that not only could the new king hold a scepter in one hand and a rod in the other at the same time; but he could also hold his bladder for a really long time. He’s 74. I’m 75. I know the pressure.
I mentioned that last remarkable bit to friends that evening and without hesitation they told me the king was wearing a diaper. A diaper royal, I presume, which the Yeomen Guardians of Secret Undergarments wrapped around him that morning.
Let me pin that for you, Your Grace.
I also heard them say that the king rules by the authority and with the blessing of God the Father Almighty, Jesus Christ his only son, and the Holy Spirit.
That’s blasphemy.
The Defender of the Faith didn’t even bat an eye.
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See Paula’s “Eternal Sentry” on the home page. Posted May 7, 2023