We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. —The Declaration of Independence
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I saw a friend at the pub I hadn’t seen in years. He’d been living in Memphis. He looked hale and hearty and I said so.
Thanks, he said. I feel good.
And better yet, I said, you look happy.
Well, most of the time I’m not.
I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so unhappy. What’s goin’ on?
Nothing really. Life is good.
Why then are you so unhappy?
I didn’t say I was unhappy. It’s just that happiness comes and goes. I get an Amazon delivery and I’m happy. Things make me happy. For about 10 minutes.
I know exactly what you mean! I’ve got two dozen T-shirts in my closet.
I think happiness is overrated. I’m content.
I’ve known this friend for nearly 50 years. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s been a landscaper by day and a drummer in a band at night. I never took him for a philosopher, but at that moment I did.
He’d laugh if I said so. So I didn’t. Instead I said:
Not happy but content, eh? I’m impressed. Few people know that contentment makes a poor person rich and discontent makes a rich person poor. At least that’s what Ben Franklin said.
I never heard that before. I just pursued happiness like any good American should. It’s our right, don’t you know, right after life and liberty.
Yes, indeed! It’s an unalienable right!
I came to see happiness is the wrong pursuit. It should have been the pursuit of knowledge or goodness or justice. In retrospect, happiness seems trite. Happiness is like morning dew. Contentment is like a deep pond.
Damn. I never took him for a poet.
On my way home, I was nagged by a devilish parable.
Once upon a time a farmer hit the jackpot. He reaped the greatest harvest ever. He was happy. Deliriously happy. He built extra barns and silos to store his new found wealth and said to himself: I’ve got it made. I’m more than happy. I’m content.
And so he settled down for a life of ease.
That night the devil knocked on his door.
What’s up, ole friend? What brings you out tonight?
I have a question for you.
Shoot. What is it?
What is the difference between contentment and complacency?
The farmer slammed the door.
I AM content … Thank you for sharing your words which restarted my brain and heart remembering what is truly important.
A good start to Sunday. Complacency implies a withdrawal from actively living and keeping an eye on the world. A dangerous state in which to live today. I can be content but still aware.
I read this just to post my disagreement. But, now I don’t disagree. That’s it. (insert Janis Joplin’s cackle)
The gap between contentment and complacency is a wide one. The former is manifested by a sense of wakefulness, gratitude and the feeling that one is enough. It leads to an inner growth and peace despite the circumstances. True contentment is active, not passive nor indifferent. It focuses on the now, the present moment, not the past nor the future. The latter, complacency, leads to stagnation and a possible lack of motivation. It is not aware of the dangers of the status quo. Unfortunately, many Americans at the present are too complacent on this holiday weekend. The dangers to our Republic are severe; inner contentment has a movement and vision, but complacency is the farmer shutting the door—and his eyes. May more of us wake up!
Yes, as others have said, contentment is an active verb, a state of presence, wakefulness, a bright & shining consciousness & keen observation. Complacency is a dull & crusted over torpor, lacking aliveness of spirit. Sometimes a shocking event can wake us from our stupor, & allow us to really see what is happening around us & inside of us… and finding a flow with what is…true appreciation for life & all it’s many twists & turns.
So grateful for you & others here today… birds chirping, coffee enjoyed, breakfast nearly ready… life… ahhhh
Growing up, the word happiness was over used, just as the expression “beating a dead horse!” I grew to despise it. I have been using the word content for years. There is an ease to it, like settling into my hammock with a good book. Happiness feels forced. Something like telling a Flight Attendant, SMILE!!
Ah, yes! Contentment. It comes and it goes. However, it always comes home. Well being is a good place to dwell. Ebb and flow. Balance comes and balance goes. Just be patient. Happiness is always just round the corner. Patience comes and goes too. So let it be.Roll with it. Take it easy, but take it! This too shall pass.
Poetic and thought-provoking. Thanks. Lucy Maud Montgomery said, “Today, I counted the money I had earned all these years from my pen. It was quite a great deal of fortunes. Unfortunately, money does not buy happiness.” I think happiness and contentment come more from giving and gratitude than indulging.
There is a community, collective responsibility aspect of contentment or peace or happiness. The more plugged in to others and showing care for others, the better we feel.. If you just read the Red Letters of the New Testament, you’ll be on the way to peace & contentment……and maybe happiness.
Great writing to start my Sunday. Read the following at the breakfast table that seemed to be relevant. “But for the pressors in the academy, for the humanities generally, misery is more amenable to analysis: happiness is a harder nut to crack.” – from the novel “Saturday” by Ian McEwan.
Jeffrey Rosen’s book on The Pursuit of Happiness looks at this phrase as how our 18th century Founders understood “happiness” less as pleasure and more as virtue, self-improvement, and civic responsibility.- almost a more classical interpretation of what the Greco-Romans saw as the life of virtue and its “rewards” …his interview with David Rubenstein is enlightening
“What is the difference between contentment and complacency?” The farmer demonstrated the difference when he slammed the door! “Uncritical satisfaction, smugness, and arrogance” per definition. How Old Scratch can touch a nerve!
P.S. I have long maintained that “happiness” is an inside job, though the depth of it can certainly be affected by external events or persons. And perhaps it was complacency that allowed that phrase to remain in the Declaration of Independence!
Eric Hoffer said it succinctly re contentment (aka blessings): The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.
That’s so funny. A former roommate once said to me, “You’re so damn complacent!” My reply? “I’m not complacent. I’m content.”
And therein lies the answer to the devil’s question.
Continuity