Happy Third Day of Christmas. Look for three French hens sent from your true love. I took last week off. (Whatever that means these days!) So here’s a post from the archives. October 13, 2019. Not exactly a Christmas theme but it does mention the birth of Jesus. As this momentous year ends, I’d like to thank all of you for tuning in week after week. You are a blessing to me. Happy New Year. Be good to yourself. Always.
JESUS SHAVES! That’s funny. It wouldn’t be funny if it were Buddha, Moses, Muhammad, or Bob shaving. JESUS SAVES. JESUS SHAVES. Funny!
HONK IF YOU LOVE CHEESES is funny, too, because there are a million bumper stickers taunting motorists to HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS. I never honk. I’m pretty sure the Jesus I love isn’t the one they love.
My Jesus is a fun guy. He rocks the boat.
He once told a fat-assed rich guy that it was easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a fat-assed rich guy to get into heaven. You gotta slim down, buddy, or you’ll miss out on the good life. Lots of knee slapping on that one, I bet.
Honk if you love Jesus.
I’m teaching a course at Shepherd University entitled “Jesus Before Christianity.” It’s a full class. A lot of us would like to know what Jesus was before he became a white evangelical Republican.
He was Jewish, that’s what. He was born Jewish. He died Jewish.
His mother Mary (aka Miriam) was Jewish. And, no, she wasn’t a “Catholic Jew” as one incredulous (Catholic) student insisted.
So, I’ve been downloading songs about Jesus. Jesus Was a Capricorn. The Rebel Jesus. Jesus Is Just Alright with Me. Jesus on the Mainline. We Need a Whole Lot More of Jesus (And a Lot Less Rock and Roll). And my favorite: They Ain’t Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore, by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. (Yes, there is such a group.)
While googling I stumbled on “Jesus Shaves” by Paranoid Larry. (Yes, there is such a person). Jesus loses his job in corporate America, becomes a welder, shaves twice a week, goes ice fishin’ after church on Sunday, walks on water, bumbles into a date, marries Magdalena (from payroll), and has a daughter.
I love that Jesus, too, and the blessing he offers.
Blessed are the ones who make peace, blessed are the ones who scrape by.
Blessed are the ones living holy lives, and here’s to the rest of us who try
I never heard it that way from the Bible Jesus. I heard it from the one who shaves.
Here’s to the rest of us who try.
“Jesus Shaves” as performed by the Roches