If you come to a fork in the road, don’t take the road less traveled, take the fork and go back the way you came. —from a commencement speech by Yogi Berra
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[I was a pastor for 41 years. I performed a hundred some baptisms, 250 weddings, 250 funerals, and preached more than 2,000 sermons, but never once did I give a commencement address until yesterday. Here’s the text. Slightly abridged.]
If you’ve heard one commencement address, you’ve heard them all. One platitude after another after another.
Make your bed. Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Seize the day. Be yourself. Take the road less traveled. Follow your passion.
And this perennial:
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Okay. But so was yesterday. And I’m pretty sure tomorrow will be also.
We’ve heard enough platitudes to last a lifetime!
I pleaded with my muse to give me something fresh, something not on the 100-greatest-platitudes-of-all-times list. Nothing corny, trite, or too long.
Please!
Nothing came until last night.
In the middle of the night I heard a voice, you know, the way Keith Richards heard the chords of “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” in his sleep in a hotel in Clearwater, Florida, in May 1965.
It was an annunciation. It was like the angel Gabriel addressing the Virgin Mary. It was just like that! Heavenly hosts hummed “Let It Be.”
I jumped out of bed and quickly wrote down the words. Suddenly I was in the company of Moses, Mohammed, and Joseph Smith, transcribing words never heard on earth before.
Would you like to hear them?
(YES!)
I thought you might. Here goes.
Blessed are the poor for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I know, I know. Naive. Silly. Trite. And there’s more.
Blessed are those who mourn.
Blessed are the meek.
That made no sense to me, but I kept inscribing.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
And that’s where the revelation abruptly ended. Just 45 words.
To be honest, I thought the words were okay, just not great. Not a single keeper among them. For the time being I’m calling them “The Beatitudes.”
To relieve your disappointment with those insipid, forgettable lines, I composed one of my own so you’d have at least one memorable beatitude to sustain you through your life’s journey. I think it’s a keeper.
Would you like to hear it?
(YES!)
I thought you might. Here it is.
Blessed are those who try, for that’s pretty much the best any of us can do.
And there ends my speech. I’m sorry it was so short—not to mention a bit of a lie. But then:
Blessed are those who like fiction, for they shall be amused.
Thanks for listening.
